A to Z
by Fujiko Kuwabara
Summary: Basically, "alphabet soup", I guess. A bunch of little one-shot stories of Yu Yu Hakusho. Chapter Nine: Imitation - Kuwabara comes up with a crazy idea game that goes terrible wrong. Will the four ever be able to fix their friendship?
1. Antiquing

Okay so the idea of doing an A to Z type thing for Yu Yu Hakusho has been dwelling around in my mind for a while. So, yeah, I decided that I'd do one. I'm only going to update it when I'm really bored and I have nothing else to work on (at the moment, I waiting for my Beta reader to tell me what she thinks of a new story I'm working on (expect a new story "If It Kills Me" soon (ha, shameless plug.:P))). I know this one isn't really funny, but don't worry - it'll get better.:) That being said, like always - Enjoy!:D

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**Antiquing**

Kuwabara had invited Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei to stay over at his apartment with him while his sister was away that weekend. Not that he was afraid of being alone in the apartment; he didn't want to be bored all by himself. Yusuke had taken this as an invitation to pull a prank on his big friend while he was asleep that night.

While Kuwabara was passed out on the couch, snoring loudly, Yusuke snuck into the kitchen and began rummaging around in a cupboard.

"Yusuke, what're you doing?"

Yusuke whipped around to see Kurama and Hiei standing behind him, their arms crossed over their chests. He laughed nervously and closed the cupboard.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." Hiei coughed into his fist.

Yusuke made a face at Hiei and Hiei shrugged his shoulders, a smug look saying "what did I do?' on his face as he smirked.

"Fine, I'll tell you." Yusuke sighed, opening up the cupboard and taking out a big bag of flour. "I'm going antiquing."

"I think all the antique stores are closed by now, Yusuke." Kurama said, tilting his head slightly to the side.

"No, not that kind! It's different – it's _hilarious_!"

Kurama and Hiei blinked, staring at Yusuke. Yusuke rolled his eyes and walked passed them to the living room where Kuwabara slept.

"Just watch this." He said, shoving his hand into the bag of flour and grabbing a handful of it as he stood a foot away from the couch.

He took a step back, pulling his hand back then tossed the flour at Kuwabara's face. Kuwabara jerked awake and sat up, coughing profusely as he inhaled some of the flour. Kurama blinked then furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Hiei smirked and snickered as Yusuke held his sides, laughing loudly and pointing at Kuwabara.

"Ha, you dumbass!"

Kuwabara wiped his face then glared at Yusuke.

"You just wait, Urameshi." He warned, shaking his fist at his friend. "I'll get you – you won't know when, it'll just happen."

Yusuke rolled his eyes, waving away his friend's threat as he turned and made his way to the bathroom.

"Whatever, Kuwabara. Man, my stomach hurts." Yusuke mumbled, rubbing his stomach as he disappeared into the bathroom. "I hope I don't have food poisoning."

Kurama turned to Kuwabara, his eyes wide.

"You didn't poison him, did you?"

Kuwabara gave him a look, a small smirk on his face as he held up a finger as if to shush Kurama.

"Wait for it."

The room was quiet for a moment until a loud noise came from the bathroom, as if somebody punched a hole in the wall.

"Gah! Kuwabara, you asshole!" Yusuke screamed from the bathroom.

Kuwabara snickered and lifted up a tube of super glue.

"Whoops!"


	2. Babysitting

I missed writing about Haru and Sumi so I wrote this. Yeah, it's kinda like . . . slow and uneventful? But Haru and Sumi fans will enjoy, I guess. Enjoy!:D

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**Babysitting**

Yusuke grumbled and reached for the phone as it rang loudly by his head. He rolled over, sat up and snatched it, putting it to his ear.

"What?" He snapped into the phone, glancing at his clock to see the time. He had slept in, again. It was almost three thirty.

"Hey, dude." Yusuke rolled his eyes at the sound of Kuwabara's voice.

"Hey, what?"

"I need to ask you a favor."

Yusuke could hear Hiei say something and Shizuru shout something back at him, laughing, in the background. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

"Don't tell me." He whined, flopping back down onto his bed. "Please, don't tell me."

"Well, Shizuru and Hiei are going out for a few hours." Kuwabara said softly, sounding as if somebody had scolded him. "I really need your help."

"But, Kuwabara – _babysitting_??"

"They're just babies." Kuwabara huffed into the phone. "How hard could it be?"

"Well, if it ain't hard then why don't you do it by yourself?"

Kuwabara let out a sound that was a combination of a grunt and groan.

"Just get over here."

With that, Kuwabara hung up. Yusuke looked at the phone in his hand, the dial tone echoing. He sat up and put the phone back onto its cradle then got up to shower and get dressed.

And hour later, Yusuke was at the front door of the Kuwabara family apartment. He stretched and yawned audibly, resembling a lion. He raised his fist to pound on the door when it flew open, revealing an angry looking Kuwabara.

"Don't even think about it." He said lowly. "They're taking a nap."

Kuwabara moved out of the way to let Yusuke in. Yusuke shoved his hands into his pockets as he made his way into the apartment.

"If they're asleep, why did I have to come over?" He asked, flopping down onto the couch. "It seems like you've got everything under control."

"Don't be such a dick." Kuwabara said, sitting down next to his friend. "If they were going to sleep the whole time, I wouldn't have called you."

"Yeah, you would. You would have been bored shitless without me."

"I guess." Kuwabara shrugged then turned to the television, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels. "Nothing's on."

"Except stupid talk shows like Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil or Montel."

"Or Steve Wilkos." Kuwabara leaned back into the couch. "That guy's a bad ass."

"Meh," Yusuke shrugged. "He's just a big bald loud mouth, like you."

"Hey!" Kuwabara shouted, punching his friend in the shoulder. "I am not bald!"

"Ow, ya dick!" Yusuke jumped at his friend, punching at him. "Bitch, I'll kill you!"

The two began to wrestle on the couch, calling each other names and beating on each other. They were unaware of the bedroom door that slowly creaked open or the little girl that tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the living room. She stared at Kuwabara and Yusuke fighting each other on the couch.

"What're you doing?" Sumi asked, her head tilted to the side.

The two stopped; Kuwabara had Yusuke in a headlock and Yusuke was about to punch his best friend in his baby maker. They jumped away from each other and smiled at Sumi.

"Nothing, princess." Kuwabara answered, going to the three-year-old girl and picking her up.

"I can't sleep." She pouted. "Where's mommy?"

"Mommy went out, remember?" Kuwabara kissed Sumi on the forehead, holding her. "It's just your favorite uncle watchin' over you."

"But I don't see Kurama." She said innocently, blinking as she looked around the room.

Yusuke snorted and covered his mouth to keep from laughing; the sad look on Kuwabara's face was hilarious. Kuwabara shot a glare at his friend then turned back to his niece.

"You're just playing, right princess? I'm your favorite uncle, huh?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Sumi chirped before kissing Kuwabara on the cheek.

Yusuke laughed out loud at the thought of Kuwabara being a woman. A crash in the kitchen made him stop. He and Kuwabara looked at each other then went into the kitchen to see Haru on the kitchen counter, a chair lying on the ground. He looked down at the chair, an open jar of peanut butter in his hand.

"Hey, kid!" Kuwabara laughed. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing." Haru said in a singsong voice.

"Doesn't look like 'nothing'." Yusuke said.

"I'm hungry." The little boy answered, sitting down on the counter and eating the peanut butter out of the jar with his hand.

"Don't eat the peanut butter, kid." Kuwabara said, taking it from Haru. "Too much'll make you sick."

"But I want peanut butter!" Haru whined, folding his arms over his small chest.

"Too bad, we'll make you something else." Kuwabara put Sumi down on the ground then put the peanut butter away. "Wait, did you guys eat already, like before your parents left?"

"Nooo." The twins said in unison.

"Don't trust them, Kuwabara. They're like gremlins." Yusuke shook his head as he helped clean the peanut butter from Haru's face and hands with a wet paper towel.

"I dunno . . . are you guys really hungry?"

"Yes." They said together again.

Kuwabara sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Candy!" They shouted together. "We want candy."

Kuwabara and Yusuke blinked then looked at each other.

"Should we give 'em candy?"

"I dunno, my sister doesn't like them to have candy, says it makes them hyper or something."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Yusuke asked.

The two looked at the twins then looked at each other then shrugged. They left to Kuwabara's room to grab his secret stash of candy he kept under his bed.

Yusuke's question was answered twenty minutes later as he and Kuwabara sat, dumbfounded, staring wide eyed as the three year old literally bounced off the walls, screaming their heads off.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Kuwabara groaned through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to punch his friend in the stomach. "_This_ is the worst that could happen, Urameshi!"

He jumped up, hearing Eikichi howling and hissing from somewhere in the apartment. He ran towards the sound to rescue his baby. He saw Haru holding Eikichi and trying to put a onesie that belonged to one of Sumi's dolls on the cat. He had cat scratches on his arms and on his cheek.

"Hey, drop her right now!" Kuwabara shouted, startling Haru.

Haru dropped the cat immediately and looked up at his uncle with wide eyes. Eikichi fell to the floor, landing on her side then rolling onto her feet and running out of the room to the safe haven of Kuwabara's room.

"Okay, kid. You're in time out," Kuwabara said, swooping the kid up. "Let's get you some bad aids first."

He jumped at the sound of glass breaking from the kitchen then ran from the room to see Yusuke picking up broken glass from the floor, Sumi sitting on the table and watching him. Milk dribbled from the table where it landed in a pile on the floor by Yusuke.

"What happened?"

"It fell over and spilled then rolled off the table!" Sumi exclaimed.

She got up and jumped towards Kuwabara, her arms out as she flew towards him. He caught her in his arm then stumbled back and fell to the ground.

"Let's play dress up!" Sumi exclaimed, tugging at her uncle's hair.

"No, I wanna play cops and robbers!" Haru said, pulling at Kuwabara's face.

"I wanna play hide and seek!"

"I wanna play Candy Land!"

"I wanna play Russian Roulette." Yusuke mumbled as he threw the glass away.

"Quiet game!" Kuwabara shouted, sitting up and holding the twins as they fell into his lap. "Let's play the quiet game!"

"What's that?" Sumi asked, a stray black curl falling in her face.

"It's a game where you see who stay the quietest the longest, who can go without talking for the longest. Whoever talks, loses."

"Let's play!" The twins exclaimed.

Kuwabara put a finger to his lips, silencing his nephew and niece.

"The game starts now."

"You lost, uncle Kazuma!"

"Oh, you lost too Sumi!"

"You both lost." Kuwabara groaned. "Okay, the game is starting now. Uncle Yusuke and I aren't playing."

The twins hopped from Kuwabara's lap and sat on the couch to watch some cartoon, both silent. Kuwabara stood and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I got this totally under control." He mumbled, glaring at Yusuke. "This place is a mess, we gotta get it clean before my sister gets home."

The two began cleaning up the apartment, straightening things up and putting things away as the twins sat quietly on the couch, not moving.

As Kuwabara and Yusuke left the room to clean up the rest of the apartment, Haru kicked his sister. Sumi smacked her brother in the chest, giving him an angry look. Haru matched the look and shoved her. Sumi's angry look deepened and she shoved him off the couch. Haru jumped back up and pulled on Sumi's hair hard. She screamed and slapped her brother in the face, making him let go and fall backwards.

"You big meanie!"

"You lost!" Haru taunted, poking at his sister's face. "You lost, you lost!"

"You lost too, you jerk!"

"You're a brat!"

"Well, you're a . . . a . . . an asshole!"

Haru gasped and his eyes widened as he pointed at her. Sumi's eyes widened with fear as her twin brother uttered two little words.

"I'm telling!"

Haru ran from the room, calling for Yusuke and Kuwabara as Sumi chased after him.

"Uncle Kazuma, Uncle Kazuma!" Haru shouted at the top of his lungs. "Guess what Sumi just said!"

"You lost the game, kid!" Kuwabara said, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm.

"Guess what Sumi said, Uncle Kazuma?" Haru repeated as he danced around Kuwabara's then Yusuke's ankles. "Guess what, guess what?"

"It was an accident!" Sumi whined, looking as if she were about to start crying. "I'm sorry!"

"She said 'asshole'!" Haru gasped, covering his mouth with his hands. "Oops!"

"He said it, too!" Sumi pointed, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Where did you guys learn that word?" Kuwabara shot an angry glance at Yusuke, who shrugged and shook his head wildly.

"Daddy." The two said in unison.

Kuwabara and Yusuke looked at each other and sighed. Of course, it was Hiei. He tried to clean up his language as the kids grew, but sometimes it would just slip out.

"He says it about you a lot, uncle Kazuma." Sumi said, holding onto her uncle's legs.

Kuwabara blinked as Yusuke snorted and laughed loudly. He resisted the urge to hit Yusuke in front of the children. He turned back to the kids and picked them, muttering under his breath.

"All right, I'm sorry but you guys gotta be in time out for a while. That's a bad word, little kids can't say that stuff." He said, sounding sincere as he carried then into the living room. "No TV, no talking."

He placed them on the couch then picked up the remote and turned the television off.

"Are we playing the quiet game again?" Haru asked, fiddling with a loose thread on the couch.

"Yes, and if you're good, uncle Kazuma and I'll give you more candy."

Kuwabara flinched at the word "candy" and turned to glare at Yusuke, who smirked back at him. The twins gasped and looked at each other then put their hands to their mouths to keep them quiet.

Five minutes later, the twins were released from time out and were given each one piece of candy.

"Can we play tea party?" Sumi asked.

"Sure, I guess." Yusuke and Kuwabara shrugged.

"Yay!" Sumi exclaimed, grabbing them by their wrists and dragging them to the room she shared with Haru. "I'm going to make you pretty ladies! Haru, come help me!"

"Wait, what?" Yusuke and Kuwabara asked in unison, looking at each other with wide eyes.

A few minutes later, Kuwabara sat on a tiny plastic white chair; his hair up in several tiny pigtails and his face covered with his sister's make up. He made an atrocious looking woman, especially with the grumpy look on his face. Sitting across from him was Yusuke, who had a ponytail at the top of his head. Haru had done his make up, saying he wanted him to look like a warrior of some sorts, but ended up just covering his face with blue eye shadow and red lipstick.

"We look like drag queens." Yusuke smiled, picking up the tiny pink tea cup with a finger and bring it to his lips.

"I dunno about you," Kuwabara smirked, picking up a graham cracker from the pink plate in front of him and eating it. "But _I_ think I look like a sweet transvestite."

Yusuke chuckled and shook his head.

"You sure do."

"Would you like some more tea, Mrs. Penny apple?" Sumi asked, standing and picking up the small teapot to refill Yusuke's cup.

Kuwabara snickered at the name Sumi called Yusuke, retrieving a glare from his friend. Yusuke held his tiny cup out to Sumi and let her pour him more water. Haru yawned from his seat in between Kuwabara and Yusuke and a few seconds later, Sumi yawned too. The two adults looked at each other, giving each other a knowing look

"Okay, kids." Kuwabara said, standing up. "Time to clean up."

Yusuke helped the kids clean up as Kuwabara went to the bathroom to wash his face and when Kuwabara came back and took things over, Yusuke went to remove the make up from his face. After they cleaned up, they went to the living room and watched a Disney movie, yawning occasionally.

"Look at them." Shizuru whispered, smiling as she watched the two sleeping on the couch. "They're exhausted."

"Who knew this would take a lot of them?" Hiei whispered back, picking up Haru from his sleeping spot on the floor. "It's just babysitting."

Kuwabara and Yusuke lay on the couch, cuddling together and snoring softly as they slept. Shizuru picked Sumi up from her sleeping spot on the recliner then covered her brother and his best friend with a blanket.


	3. Camping Trip

Oh, sweet Koenma, this one's long! Ha, I really didn't intend on having this chapter so long so I do apologize if the ending seems a bit . . . uhm, _abrupt_?:P I also apologize for the language - a _lot_ of language in this one and i really didn't mean for it to be that way, either - Yusuke's got a potty mouth (That's right, I said it. What're you gonna do?:P (ha, Kuwabara too!(just a little!):D)). So, the guys go camping! Enjoy!:D

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The white compact car was the only car on the road. Tall thick trees loomed over it, making it seem small and insignificant as it continued on it's way down the dark asphalt. Blues Traveler blared from the open windows of the car as it turned down a dirt road.

"Can you turn that garbage down?" Hiei grumbled from his seat in the back. "It's awful."

"Hey!" Yusuke barked, turning around to glare at Hiei. "Don't talk shit about Blues Traveler!"

"And don't act like you don't like them," Kurama said, nudging Hiei. "You were singing along to '_Hook_' just like the rest of us."

Hiei glared at Kurama, who gave him a knowing look and nodded, then turned his attention back to the window.

"That guy plays a mean harmonica." Kuwabara mumbled as turned into the campground.

The four of them had decided to go camping earlier that day – it was more of Yusuke and Kuwabara's idea than it was Kurama's and Hiei's. They had packed a large cooler, two tents, their sleeping bags and their duffle bags with a change of clothes and a pair of swim trunks. So, if you could imagine, Kuwabara's small car was packed.

"That one, dude." Yusuke pointed to an empty campsite to Kuwabara's left. "Get that one."

"No, that tree is freaky." Kuwabara protested. "I don't wanna wake up in the middle of the night and be scared shitless by it, thinking it's some serial killer."

"Are you serious?" Hiei asked, kicking Kuwabara's seat. "You're afraid of a tree?"

"It has a hole in the middle of it, it looks like a scary face!"

"Well, how about that one?" Kurama asked, pointing out the windshield at a campsite in front of them. "It looks okay."

"It's surrounded by kids!" Yusuke grumbled. "The last thing I want is to be woken up by screaming little kids in the middle of the night or have some parent give me bad looks for saying the word 'fuck'!"

He shouted the last word out the window as the passed by a family. The parents gave him a dirty look, shaking their heads. He smirked then turned his attention back to finding the right campsite.

"How about that one?" Kuwabara asked, pointing. "That one's next to the bathrooms."

"I think I speak for us all when I say that _nobody_ wants to camp next to a giant smelly fucking bathroom or listen to the constant sound of people farting or pissing all night long."

"All right, all right!" Kuwabara groaned. "Do you always have to be so _graphic_?"

"You call that 'graphic'? Well, let me tell you about this one time when I had some bad Mexican food –"

"Hey, look at that one!" Hiei shouted, changing the subject.

Kuwabara swerved into the campsite, thankful for Hiei's interruption. He did _not_ want to hear Yusuke's story. He punched Yusuke in the chest then the four got out of the car to inspect the campsite.

"It's next to the river." Kurama pointed out, looking out at the cool calm lonely river.

"It's a few minute walk from the bathrooms." Yusuke added, looking around.

"There aren't any kids around." Hiei mumbled.

Kuwabara nodded and clapped his hands before turning back to face his friends with a smile on his face.

"It's perfect."

They all agreed then emptied the car and set up their camp.

"All right," Kuwabara said, taking his shirt off. "I dunno about you but that river looks pretty tempting right about now."

"Oh, totally!" Yusuke agreed, pulling his shirt off quickly and tossing it to the ground. "Race ya, bitch!"

Yusuke slapped Kuwabara's pectoral then took off running towards the river, Kuwabara chasing after him. Kurama and Hiei looked at each other then shook their heads as Yusuke and Kuwabara ran back, remembering their swim trunks.

The four changed into their swim attire then made their way, towels in hand, to the river.

"Rope swing!" Kuwabara squealed, running into the river to get to it.

He stopped a few minutes later when the water came up to his belly button and turned back to his friends, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering.

"C – c'mon, you guys!" He said through chattering teeth. "The water's f-f-f-fine!"

"Fuck that!" Yusuke said, backing away from the water. "I don't wanna freeze to death – you're turning blue!"

Kurama grabbed Yusuke by the shoulders and shoved him into the water. Yusuke lost his balance and fell forward into the water. He sat up and growled, charging at Kurama. He grabbed Kurama by the arm and forcefully dragged him into the water where Kuwabara was.

Hiei watched from his spot under a tree as the three in the water dunked and splashed each other, laughing.

"Hey!" Yusuke called to Hiei, waving. "Get your ass in here, Hiei!"

"Yeah, c'mon, shorty!" Kuwabara joked before Kurama dunked him under water.

"Really, Hiei!" Kurama called. "The water's not that bad once you get used to it!"

Hiei groaned, knowing that the three in the water wouldn't stop bothering him until he gave in to their request, and got up. He slowly eased himself into the water, gasping at the cold temperature.

"It's _freezing_!" Hiei shouted to them. "Forget this."

"C'mon, don't be such a Debbie Downer!" Kuwabara called, swimming towards Hiei.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Hiei warned, in vain as Kuwabara picked him up and tossed him into the water.

Hiei resurfaced, glaring angrily at Kuwabara.

"I'll kill you in your sleep!" He shouted before Yusuke splashed at him.

"C'mon, Hiei, can't you drop that tough guy emo shit for one day?" He joked.

"Rope swing!" Kuwabara shouted, remembering the rope swing.

They watched as the big redhead dog paddled passed them then flopped and splashed the rest of his way over to the rope swing. He climbed up the large rock and shook the water from his hair (which, strangely enough, didn't leave its signature pompadour look) like a wet dog would then grabbed the rope in both hands.

"You're gonna break it, fat ass!" Yusuke shouted at Kuwabara, his hands cupping around his mouth.

Kuwabara flipped him the bird then jumped, latching onto the swing. Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei watched as Kuwabara swung passed them. They watched as the rope snapped in half. They watched as Kuwabara fell, flailing his arms and legs frantically, into the water. They watched as their big friend didn't resurface right away, just slowly floating to the surface.

"Shit!" Yusuke exclaimed, swimming over to Kuwabara's body. "Kuwabara!"

Yusuke jabbed at his friend, turning him over. Kuwabara opened his eyes and grinned at Yusuke.

"Howdy!"

"You jerk!" Yusuke punched Kuwabara in the stomach. "Don't act like you're dead, you moron."

"It was just a joke, lighten up." Kuwabara splashed at Yusuke, who jumped at him.

"Now, the rope swing's gone, what's there to do for fun?" Kurama asked, struggling to walk over to them in the water.

"There's the giant rock, but I think the water might be too shallow for us. It might work for Hiei." Kuwabara looked around, a confused look on his face. "Where did that punk go?"

Hiei climbed up the large rock and laid down on it, basking the sun's warm glow above him. He was almost asleep when he felt water hit his face. He jerked and sat up, glaring at his three wet friends that surrounded in him a small semi-circle.

"What?" He groaned, shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand as he looked up at them and smirked. "Can't I take a nap? You're not going to throw me in again, are you?"

"No way!" Yusuke shook his head, flopping down next to Hiei. "We just wanted to check out the view from up here."

Kuwabara sat down on Hiei's other side and Kurama then sat down next to him. The four looked out over the river at the tall beautiful trees as the sun set behind them, giving everything around them an orange-gold glow to it.

"Oh, now I see why you can up here!" Yusuke joked perversely.

The three turned to Yusuke, who seemed to be staring off at something passed them, a smile on his face. They then turned to see what he was looking at.

Not far from where they sat, three young women around their age were splashing around in the water, laughing loudly. They looked like sirens.

"Oh, Hiei, you pervert!" Kuwabara chided jokingly, getting up and jumping off into the water.

"You're a show off!" Yusuke shouted to his friend, standing and stretching and glancing at the girls in the water to see if they were looking at him.

Yusuke then took a few steps back then ran to the edge of the rock, jumped into the air and pulled his knees to his chest as he tumbled into the water, making a loud splash.

"Oh, I'm the show off?" Kuwabara rolled his eyes as Yusuke resurfaced. "Then what the hell are you?"

"I'm a bad ass!" Yusuke smiled cheekily.

The two in the water turned towards the girls to see if what they were doing. The girls were looking up at the rock. Yusuke and Kuwabara turned their attention back to the rock to see Kurama dive gracefully into the water.

"Damn it." Yusuke muttered, blocking his face from the splash Kurama made. "He's like the Japanese Michael Phelps."

The girls giggled from their place not far from where they were and Kuwabara and Yusuke rolled their eyes. Most women (and even some men) were very attracted to Kurama so it wasn't a surprise when the three girls swam over and began flirting with him.

Kurama just smiled politely and declined their offer of him hanging out with them later. Sadly, the girls swam off, talking about how beautiful Kurama was.

"Well, aren't you Mr. Popular?" Yusuke smirked, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, hush!" Kurama splashed at Yusuke.

"I'm hungry." Kuwabara said a moment later.

"What else is new?" Yusuke joked. "But yeah, me too."

"Come on, Hiei!" Kurama shouted towards the rock. "We're getting something to eat!"

"I'm not hungry!" Hiei shouted back, sounding a bit pouty.

"Don't be a douche!" Yusuke shouted at him.

"_You _don't be . . . that thing you just said!" Hiei shouted back.

"A douche!" Yusuke yelled back. "It . . . never mind, you don't wanna know!"

"Just come down!" Kuwabara whined loudly at Hiei as he got out of the river. "I'm so effing hungry I seriously could eat a walrus."

"You are a walrus." Yusuke joked as he and Kurama followed him out of the water.

"Shuddup, Urameshi!" Kuwabara grabbed his towel from the branch of a tree he hung it on and wrapped it around his waist. "Who packed the cooler? Do we have hot dogs?"

"I did." Kurama said, wrapping his hair up in his pale pink towel. "I bought tofu dogs."

Yusuke and Kuwabara gave each other disgusted looks then looked at Kurama, who smiled at them.

"I bought them for myself, I'm trying something new!"

"Sounds awesome." Yusuke said, draping his towel over his shoulders. "When did you decide to become a vegetarian?"

"Vegan." Kurama corrected.

"Same thing!" Yusuke snorted.

Kurama opened his mouth to correct Yusuke again when a loud splash jerked their attention back to the river. Hiei lay on his back after he resurfaced and slowly floated towards the bank of the river. He got up and shook the excess water from him, spraying his friends as they complained and tried to snap him with their towels.

"So, wait, are there regular hot dogs too?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes, Kuwabara, there are regular hot dogs."

"Did you bring marshmallows?" Yusuke asked as they walked back to their campsite.

"Of course, what're you thinking?" Kurama asked, shaking his head.

"Y'know that marshmallows are, like, an animal product or something." Kuwabara said, sitting down in one of the lawn chairs they had set up earlier. "It has, like, marrow or something in it."

"Ha, so you can't have any!" Yusuke teased, sticking his tongue out at Kurama. "Sucks to be Vegan right about now, huh?"

"Not really, I have Vegan marshmallows too." Kurama retorted, smirking at Yusuke.

"That's blasphemous." Yusuke muttered, sitting down next to Kuwabara.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hiei asked, watching his friends.

"Don't tell me you've never tried marshmallows, Hiei!" Kuwabara gaped.

"Oh, shut up." Hiei muttered, grabbing his clothes and heading towards the bathrooms to change.

"I can't believe it!" Kuwabara shook his head, absolutely marveled. "Who the hell can go their whole life without eating marshmallows!"

"Vegans." Yusuke said flatly, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and lighter from the pocket of his jean jacket that was draped on the back of the chair he was sitting on.

Kurama shot a look at Yusuke, who bit his tongue as he smiled jokingly at his friend. Kurama ripped open the bag of Vegan marshmallows and threw one at Yusuke, smirking.

"Leave Vegans alone!" He shouted through a laugh.

Yusuke bounced up and caught the marshmallow in his mouth. He nodded his head as he chewed it.

"Not bad, not bad at all." He said, giving Kurama a thumbs up. "Not as good as the original but it's okay."

Kurama smiled then grabbed his clothes and made his way to the bathrooms to get changed. Yusuke watched Kurama until his back was turned then spit the marshmallow out, a disgusted look on his face.

"Blech." He muttered, wiping his mouth.

"What?" Kuwabara asked. "Y'didn't like it?"

"Fuck no, it was terrible!"

Later that night, the four sat around their campfire, roasting marshmallows and hot dogs. Yusuke lifted up the charred melted marshmallow on stick he was holding.

"Okay, Hiei, try this."

"No, it looks disgusting." Hiei grimaced, shaking his head.

"Dude, trust me, it's awesome."

Hiei hesitantly reached out to Yusuke's stick and Yusuke jerked it back, smirking.

"Get your own damn marshmallow."

"Ha! You're an asshole." Kuwabara laughed, shoving Yusuke. "Here, try a regular one."

Kuwabara tossed the bag of marshmallows to Hiei, who sat across from him. Hiei caught the bag in both hands then looked at it. He took one out and sniffed it.

"It's not gonna kill you, shrimp, just eat it."

"Shut up, Kuwabara, or I'll kill you in your sleep."

Yusuke smirked at Kurama, who sat across from him.

"They sure do have a funny way of saying 'I love you'."

Kurama laughed out loud as Kuwabara and Hiei protested and called Yusuke immature names. Hiei popped a marshmallow into his mouth and chewed slowly. He blinked and his facial expression brightened.

"So, what, Hiei?" Yusuke asked, looking at his short friend. "What do you think?"

"This . . . is the best fucking thing . . . I have ever had . . . in my entire life." Hiei said slowly, looking at his friends.

They laughed as he clutched the bag tightly to his chest, shoving handfuls of the giant marshmallows into his mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hiei!"

"Jesus, shrimp, slow down!"

"Hiei, you're going to make yourself sick!"

"Shut up, this is like heaven in a soft sticky white form!"

Yusuke opened his mouth to say something when Hiei shot a glare at him.

"I swear to God, if you say whatever the hell I think you're going to say, you pervert, I'll kill you in your sleep as well."

Yusuke closed his mouth, his cheeks puffing out as he snorted and tried to contain his laughter. It took a while for Kuwabara and Kurama to catch on.

"Oh, grow up, Yusuke!" Kurama exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, seriously, what're you – twelve?"

Yusuke leaned over and punched Kuwabara in the chest hard. He then leaned over towards Hiei and tried to snatch the bag of marshmallows away from him. Hiei held on tightly to the bag, glaring at Yusuke. The two played a little game of tug-o-war with the bag until it ripped open and all the marshmallows flew up into the air and landed into the fire.

"No!" Yusuke, Hiei and Kuwabara shouted, lunging towards the fire pit. "The marshmallows!"

"Don't worry, you guys!" Kurama grinned widely. "We still have the Vegan ones!"

The three groaned and made disgusted faces at one another. Kurama stuck his tongue out at them.

"Fine!" He huffed. "More for me!"

It was silent for a moment until Hiei turned to Kurama and grabbed the bag of Vegan marshmallows from him.

"Are these exactly like the regular ones?"

"Not exact –"

"Yes!" Yusuke interrupted Kurama. "They're exactly like the regular ones."

Hiei made a face, glancing at Yusuke, who smirked at him. He reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of the marshmallows and shoved them into his mouth. He made another face – a disgusted one, this time – and spit the marshmallows in his mouth out at Yusuke. Yusuke shrieked and jumped up and away from the saliva-covered Vegan marshmallows.

"You dick!" Yusuke exclaimed, his voice cracking as it reached a higher pitch.

"You lied to me!" Hiei jumped up. "And for that, you must _die_!"

Yusuke got into a fighting stance, smirking.

"Bring it on, bitch!"

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya!" Hiei said through a smirk, unsheathing his katana. "You killed my father, prepare to die!"

"Someone's been watching _The Princess Bride_ a little too much!" Kuwabara snickered.

Kuwabara shrieked as Hiei charged towards him. He covered his head and ducked as Hiei jumped over him.

"Is this seriously gonna happen?" Kuwabara asked, standing up and revealing his spirit sword. "Is this _Star Wars_ shit really gonna happen?"

Yusuke and Kurama, momentarily forgotten, watched as Kuwabara and Hiei play fought and acted out the in famous scene from _Star Wars_. Kuwabara knocked Hiei's katana out of his hands and towered over him.

"Luke," He said, covering his mouth with his hand and breathing heavily. "I am your father!"

"No!" Hiei cried.

"Hey, shut the hell up over!" Someone from a nearby campsite shouted, his voice filled with sleepy frustration. "Some people are trying to sleep!"

"And some people are trying to act out _Star Wars_!" Yusuke shot back.

"Those movies sucked!" Someone from another campsite shouted. "You guys are nerds, _Star Trek_ is were it's at!"

The four gasped and glared in the direction of where the voice came from.

"Come over here and say that to our faces, you damn trekkie!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo can kick the shit out of Captain Kirk and Captain Picard any day!" Yusuke yelled defiantly.

"Shut the hell up and go to sleep!" A woman at the campsite across from them screamed. "Nobody cares about any of that _Star_ shit!"

"If you weren't a woman –" Hiei started.

"No, seriously, you guys." Kurama said calmly. "We better settle down, it is getting late and people are trying to sleep."

The three grumbled under their breath and headed over to the tents.

"Why do I have to share a tent with Hiei?" Kuwabara grumbled.

"Because Kurama and I called dibs on the big tent." Yusuke answered.

"That's not far!" Kuwabara whined, unzipping the door to the small (almost child-sized) tent. "I was in the bathroom when you guys did that! This tent's too small, I'll break it!"

"Shut up and get yer ass in there and go to sleep!" Yusuke grumbled, kicking his bigger friend in the behind and forcing him in the tent.

"I don't want to sleep in the same tent as you, either." Hiei said. "You talk in your sleep."

"No, I don't!" Kuwabara stuck his head out of the tent door and tried to punch at Yusuke. "Wait, do I?"

"Yeah," Yusuke agreed, nodding his head. "You talk about weird shit, man."

"Like what?"

"Like laser cats or space Santa or –"

"Space Santa scares the crap outta me!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "He tells me he has an Easy Bake Oven for me and then I say 'I don't want an Easy Bake Oven, Santa, I'm a boy' and then he shoots moon rocks at me and he has his little alien elves chase after me."

Yusuke and Hiei held their sides, laughing hysterically. Kurama shook his head and gave Kuwabara a sympathetic look.

"You guys are assholes." Kuwabara muttered, disappearing into his tent.

Hours later while the rest of the campsite was asleep, Yusuke was woken up by a strange noise. He jerked and sat up, listening carefully to the sound.

"Kurama?" He whispered. "Kurama!"

Kurama snorted and rolled over in his sleeping bag to face Yusuke.

"Hm, yes?" He said through a yawn. "What is it?"

"Do you hear that?"

Kurama was silent for a moment as he listened intently to the sound of something groaning as it shuffled outside their tent.

"Yes, I hear it."

"Dude, it's a bear!" Yusuke whispered frantically.

Kurama was silent again, pinching the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed exasperatedly. He was slightly angry with Yusuke for waking him up.

"Yusuke," He said slowly. "It is not a bear."

Yusuke jumped when he heard whatever it was outside their tent growling and stomping around.

"It's a fucking _bear_!" Yusuke whisper-shouted. "We have to warn Kuwabara and Hiei."

"Yusuke, after all you've been through, you're seriously afraid of a bear?"

"Bears freak me out! It could rip us to shreds!"

"Yusuke, it's not a bear. Settle down."

"Dude, it's a fucking bear!" Yusuke got out of his sleeping bag and stood up. "I'm gonna try to sneak by it and wake up Kuwabara and Hiei."

"Yusuke, I keep telling you, it's not a –"

The sound of the "bear" coming towards their tent interrupted Kurama. It was right outside their tent. Yusuke grabbed his flashlight, glaring in the dark.

"I'm gonna knock the shit outta it!" He whispered, going to the door of the tent.

"Yusuke, listen to me, it's not –"

Yusuke unzipped the door to the tent and let out a high-pitched scream. Kuwabara, who stood at the door, screamed with him. Yusuke lifted the flashlight up and whacked Kuwabara in the head with it.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Kurama, the bear can talk! It sounds just like Kuwabara!"

"I'm not a bear, you idiot!" Kuwabara exclaimed, jumping up and punching Yusuke in the shoulder. "I can't frickin' sleep, Hiei keeps kicking me in his sleep. It's really hard kicking, too. I think he's having a nightmare."

"What the hell are you doing out here, you stupid ass?" Yusuke grumbled, turning on the flashlight and aiming at their feet.

"I just told you, I couldn't sleep!" Kuwabara whined. "And I couldn't find my flashlight and I really have to pee. Can I borrow that?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! I think Hiei hid it or something."

"I have to piss too, I'll go with you." Yusuke said, sliding his feet into his shoes. "We'll use the buddy system like in kindergarten."

"Yay, buddy system!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Wait!" Kurama whispered, coming out of the tent. "I have to go, too."

"This is turning into like a field trip or something." Kuwabara said as they started make their way to the bathrooms.

"Should we wake Hiei up and see if he has to go, too?" Yusuke asked, aiming the flashlight at Hiei and Kuwabara's tent.

"No way, man, he's asleep. He'd be pissed off if we woke him."

"You're right."

The three slowly and sleepily made their way to the bathrooms, the light from the flashlight bouncing around as Yusuke aimed it towards the bathrooms.

"Hold the frickin' flashlight still, Urameshi."

Yusuke hit Kuwabara in the back of the head with the flashlight again.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Oh, sorry!" Yusuke said, pretending to be apologetic. "I thought you were a bear again."

Yusuke turned the flashlight off as the three entered the bathroom. Kuwabara rushed into a stall and slammed the door behind him. He fiddled with the lock then groaned.

"Urameshi, hold the door for me."

"What? Why?"

"The lock's broken!"

"So?"

"I don't want the door flying open while I'm takin' a leak!"

"Trust me, Kuwabara, _nobody_ wants to see that!" Yusuke held the door closed for his friend, grumbling. "Why can't you just use the frickin' urinal like everybody else?"

"I'm self-conscious!" Kuwabara whined.

Yusuke laughed, accidentally moving the door a little.

"Urameshi, keep the door _closed_!"

"It was an accident!"

Yusuke kicked the door in and watched as the door smacked Kuwabara in the back. Kuwabara jumped and pulled up his pants. He flushed the toilet then rushed from the now open stall and punched Yusuke in the arm.

"You're an asshole."

"Oh, come on!" Yusuke smirked. "It was a joke."

"Not funny."

"Good lord, you two! Can't you even go to the bathroom without fighting?" Kurama asked as he washed his hands, looking at Kuwabara and Yusuke through the mirror.

Kuwabara glared at Yusuke as he made his way to the sink to wash his hands.

"Do you have to be such a girl sometimes?" Yusuke mumbled, looking at the back of Kuwabara's head.

"Fuck . . . _you_!" Kuwabara shrieked, flicking water at Yusuke.

Kurama sighed and shook his head as the two began to fight in the bathroom. He took the flashlight and left the restroom, heading back to his tent to go back to sleep. Yusuke and Kuwabara noticed that Kurama was gone and stopped fighting. They looked at each other then looked at the door.

"Hey, Kurama!" Kuwabara shouted as the two ran from the bathroom to catch up with their friend.

"Wait up!" Yusuke called.

Hiei woke up to the sound of birds chirping from the trees that surrounded the tent he was in. He slowly opened his eyes to see that he was holding a sleeping raccoon in his arms. He jerked away from the animal, which woke it up.

"Gah!"

The raccoon looked at Hiei then scurried out of the open tent door. Hiei, eyebrows furrowing in anger, got up and left the tent to see Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara sitting around the new campfire.

"Hey, Hiei." Yusuke snickered. "Who was your lady friend?"

Hiei walked by Kuwabara and punched him in the back of the head hard.

"What the hell was that for, shrimp?" Kuwabara cried.

"For leaving the tent open and letting wild animals crawl into bed with me!"

"It was an accident, I swear!"

"Bull shit!" Hiei grumbled, sitting down next to Kurama.

"Fine, that's what you get for kicking me in your sleep!"

"Yes . . . in my sleep . . . " Hiei said softly, looking around.

Yusuke laughed, Kurama looked a bit shocked and Kuwabara looked very angry.

"Oh, Hiei." Kurama shook his head.

"You little turd! You were kicking me on purpose?"

Hiei looked at Kuwabara, a blank look on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said softly.

Yusuke laughed again, louder this time, and Kurama shook his head and got up to begin packing everything.

"Well, I think this was a pretty awesome trip, don't you think so, guys?" Yusuke asked, getting up from his lawn chair and stretching.

"Yeah, that river was amazing." Kuwabara exclaimed as he began to pack his car.

Kurama nodded in agreement as he put out the fire and helped Kuwabara pack.

"We definitely should do this again sometime."

The three looked at Hiei, who blinked at them. He shrugged, lifting his arms up.

"I love marshmallows."


	4. Dogs

Ha, sorry, guys, I've been pretty busy and I've been hit with writer's block - well, just for "D", I guess because I've got ideas for the other letters of the alphabet. This was originally about the YYH group going to Disneyland (how cliche, right? Yeah, but it kinda worked (I'm keeping that just in case somebody wants to read it or I want to change it and make it a story all it's own)) and then it was about them being dogs and I was like "What the hell? That's terrible! Nobody's gonna like that!" so I scratched that, but I like the dog idea so I kinda kept it. Okay, enough babbling! On with the chapter - not matter how short or ridiculous it is!:D

* * *

"Urameshi, if I was a dog, what breed do you think I'd be?"

Yusuke turned to look at Kuwabara, giving him a look as if his big best friend were going crazy.

"Are you serious?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Are you seriously asking me that question?"

"Yes, I am seriously asking you that question."

"Are you high?" Yusuke leaned back into the park bench, not taking his eyes off Kuwabara. "Are you smoking the pot?"

"Jeez, you sound like my sister." He mumbled, resting his arms on the back of the bench. "I don't understand why you guys ask me that question all the time, y'know I'm against that stuff. No, but seriously – that question has been botherin' me for a while now. Just answer it."

"Truthfully?" Yusuke kept his eyebrow quirked.

"Truthfully." Kuwabara nodded.

"Hm . . . what kind of dog would you be?" Yusuke repeated the question softly, holding his chin in his hand as he thought. "This is kinda hard."

"Don't hurt yourself, Yusuke." Kurama said, appearing out of nowhere from behind the bench and leaning towards his friends.

"Gah!" Yusuke and Kuwabara exclaimed in unison. "Where did you come from?"

"Well, you see, I'm a fox demon named Yoko and –"

"We know that, smart ass." Yusuke mumbled as Kurama jumped over the bench and forced himself in between him and Kuwabara.

"I was just looking for you two." He smiled at them. "So, what's going on?"

"Well, Kuwabara just asked me what kind of breed would he be if he were a dog."

Kurama nodded at Yusuke then looked back at Kuwabara.

"Are you on drugs?" He asked, his voice calm and his head tilted slightly to the side.

Kuwabara let out a groan of frustration and balled his hands up into fists, punching himself on the thighs.

"I am not on drugs, you guys!" He said through gritted teeth. "I was bored one day and I got to thinking – c'mon, answer the question."

"Hey, where's Hiei?" Yusuke asked, changing the subject.

"Up here." Hiei said from his spot on a branch on the tree that towered over the three on the bench. "I've been here the whole time and to answer the idiot's question, a huge dog that thinks it's so much smaller than it actually is and drools all the time."

"Hey!" Kuwabara yelped, looking up to glare at Hiei. "Come down here and say that to my face!"

"Like a Rottweiler or a mastiff." Hiei said, matching Kuwabara's glare.

"Ha, ha!" Yusuke slapped his knees, sitting up. "That's it! He's a freakin' St Bernard!"

"I can see that." Kurama agreed, nodding and trying to hide a smile. "I can definitely see that."

"Shuddup, you guys!" Kuwabara whined, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. "You guys suck, I'm not some drooling huge – puppy!"

Kuwabara stood as an St Bernard ran towards them, his tongue sticking out of his mouth and drool flying everywhere. He crouched down as the dog neared him, putting his paws on his chest and trying to lick his face. Kuwabara laughed, petting the dog.

"Hey, buddy. Aren't you cute?"

"I thought he only liked cats." Kurama wondered out loud, giving Yusuke a sideways glance.

Yusuke shrugged.

"I guess he likes dogs, too."

Kuwabara laughed as he continued to pet the dog, talking through pursed lips in a baby-like voice. Kurama, Hiei and Yusuke made faces at each other, the same equation in their head; Kuwabara + baby talk disgusting.

"You know what?" Yusuke asked, crossing his legs. "I wanna know what kinda dog I'd be. Thanks, Kuwabara, look what you started."

"Anytime, Urameshi!" Kuwabara answered, playing with the dog's floppy ears. "I think you'd be like a terrier – not like one of those tiny ones, but like Tramp from _Lady and the Tramp_, y'know?"

"Like a pit bull terrier?" Yusuke asked.

"Tramp was a pit bull?" Kurama asked.

"He was a terrier mix, I think." Yusuke shrugged.

"This is ridiculous!" Hiei exclaimed, jumping from the tree. "Why are you even having this conversation?"

"We're bored." Yusuke and Kurama said together, shrugging.

"I do think that you would be terrier mix though, Yusuke," Kurama said, turning back to Yusuke. "Not necessarily a pit bull."

"Ha, thanks, Kurama." Yusuke flashed his friend a thumbs up. "No offense, but I think you'd be, like, a poodle or something."

"A poodle? Why?"

"I dunno, you just come off as a sophisticated, y'know? Poodles are sophisticated so yeah."

"What about a Kommodore?" Kuwabara asked, holding the dog's face in his hands as he looked back at his friend.

"A what?"

"A Kommodore, with a 'K'. Its fur is dreadlocked."

"Oh, so you're saying I have dreadlocks?" Kurama asked, crossing his arms over his chest in a pout. "How gross."

"Dreads are cool." Kuwabara protested.

"Yeah, if you're Jamaican or a hippy." Yusuke added, kicking at his big friend's back. "And you're obviously neither of them, so don't plan on growin' any or I won't hang out with you anymore."

"You seriously wouldn't hang out with me if I had dreadlocks?" Kuwabara looked at Yusuke in a mock shock. "How judgmental and rude!"

Kuwabara craned his neck as best as he could to get a better look at Kurama.

"Yeah, I do think you'd be like a poodle or a Shi Tzu or something like that, y'know?"

"Maybe a lasa apsa or whatever the hell they're called." Yusuke shrugged.

"Why do we know so many dog breeds?" Kuwabara looked at Yusuke.

"I have no idea." Yusuke answered, raising his shoulders, about to shrug.

"Stop shrugging!" Hiei snapped. "You've been doing that nonstop, it's annoying as hell."

"Jeez, Hiei. Ya don't have be a dick about it." Yusuke grumbled. He smiled suddenly, thinking of something. "Hey, what kind of dog would Hiei be?"

"A Pomeranian." Kuwabara said matter-of-factly, nodding. "Definitely a Pomeranian."

"Yes!" Kurama agreed. "A tiny, black Pomeranian."

"Ha, ha!" Yusuke held his sides as he laughed. "Yeah, the kind that looks like a giant puff-ball and never stops barking!"

The three laughed as Hiei squeezed his hands into fists and resisted the urge to beat his friends.

The St Bernard's ears perked up suddenly and he turned around and let out a howl as if he were calling to something or someone.

Another dog answered him and the four young men turned to see a pit bull terrier with a green collar running towards the St Bernard. The St Bernard took off towards the Pit Bull Terrier and the four noticed a white poodle with a pink collar and a tiny black puffball Pomeranian with a white collar following the Pit Bull Terrier.

The four dogs stopped a few feet away from the bench where Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei were. They watched as the dogs began sniffing and playing with each other. The dogs turned to the four at the bench and they swore they saw the dogs smile at them before they ran off, barking. Kuwabara stood, not taking his eyes off the dogs.

"Did . . . did you guys see what I saw?" He asked.

"Yeah." Yusuke answered, his voice soft. "Let's get the hell outta here."

Yusuke and Kurama got up from the bench and the four left the park quickly, vowing never to come back to that park ever again.


	5. Escalators

Okay, so my Successful Storytelling teacher says that "writer's block is just procrastination" and that is so true, you just need to write! Ha ha, so anyway - I just thought I put this out there, I just love writing Yusuke, he's just like almost every other guy I know. Kuwabara, too, now that I think about it. And I just _love_ writing Hiei and Kurama as being out of character, because they're so serious all the time. So, that being said, enjoy!:D

* * *

As they entered the large mall, Kuwabara ran ahead then stopped. He looked up, his mouth agape as he marveled at the inside of the building.

"Whoa." He said softly.

"Settle down, Keanu." Yusuke joked, appearing next to him. "You act like you've never been to a mall before."

"Check this place out, Urameshi. It's freaking huge!"

Kuwabara flailed his arms out, gesturing to all the stores around them. Yusuke shook his head, clicking his tongue.

"I don't go to the mall to shop, I come here for the girls."

He chuckled perversely, looking around for young women their age. Kurama shook his head as he and Hiei followed Yusuke and Kuwabara made their way to a music store. Kuwabara gasped.

"They even have escalators!" He squealed. "We have to go on them when we go upstairs!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up." Yusuke was checking out a couple of girls as they walked past him. "Hey, hey, pretty ladies. Where you goin'?"

The girls turned back to look at him and giggled, their faces flushing pink. He wiggled his eyebrows at the girls, retrieving a few more giggles from them.

"Sweetums, what're you doing?"

Yusuke turned to see Kuwabara standing next to him. He flinched when Kuwabara put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

"You had me worried, sweetheart. I didn't know where you went!"

The girls stopped giggling and just stared at Yusuke as his face turned bright red in embarrassment. They laughed out loud, pointing and talking in low voices about Yusuke and Kuwabara as they turned to walk away. Yusuke watched as the girls walk off then turned and shoved Kuwabara back hard.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted. "Tryin' to make me look gay?"

"Dude, calm down. It was a joke." Kuwabara laughed, shoving Yusuke. "You shouldn't be hitting on other girls anyway, you have a girlfriend."

"I'm just havin' a little fun. You're an asshole. Haven't you ever heard of the saying 'you can look, but you can't touch'?"

"Ever heard of the saying 'finders, keepers'?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Keiko found you, she gets to keep you. A- duh!"

Kuwabara rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Yusuke. Yusuke growled and punched his friend in the stomach, making the bigger young man double over.

"Grow up, you're acting like a fifth grader." He mumbled.

"We can't take you two anywhere." Kurama said, shaking his head.

"We love you, too, Kurama!" Yusuke and Kuwabara said in unison, flashing him joking smiles.

"Are we almost done here?" Hiei asked, giving the inside of the mall a disapproving look. "I want to leave."

"Nobody cares, shorty."

Hiei glared up at Kuwabara as the group began walking again, his hand reaching for his sword.

"Do you plan on having children when you're older, Kuwabara?" He growled.

"Hey, look – ice cream!" Kuwabara pointed to the food court, changing the subject. "Let's go, you guys!"

Kuwabara ran ahead again, saving a place in line for them. Yusuke laughed, shoving his hands into his jean jacket's pockets as Kurama looked at Hiei.

"I don't think you're allowed to bring that in here." He said, eyeing the sword.

"Just don't take it out and swing it around, then you'd get arrested." Yusuke said, smirking at Hiei. "Oh, shit. That sounded really dirty."

"Oh, Yusuke! You pervert!" Kurama blushed, running a hand through his long hair. "Why do you have to turn everything into a sexual innuendo?"

"In your –"

"Don't you dare!" Kurama laughed, cupping a hand over Yusuke's mouth. "Let's not keep Kuwabara waiting in line. Blueberry ice cream sounds pretty good right about now."

The three began walking towards Kuwabara when Yusuke snorted, trying to contain his laughter.

"Ha, ha, blue berries."

"Why is that even –" Kurama turned back to face Yusuke then made a face. "Oh, Yusuke, really? Blue balls? That's a terrible joke."

"What?" Yusuke asked innocently, his arms up in a shrug. "I didn't do anything."

"What the hell is 'blue balls'?" Hiei asked as they got in line with Kuwabara.

Kuwabara made a disgusted face at his three friends, shaking his head.

"What're you guys talking about?"

Kurama sighed, rubbing his face as if he were extremely tired.

"I said something about Yusuke turning everything into a sexual innuendo and then I said something about blueberry ice cream and he said 'ha, ha blue berries'."

"Oh, I get it." Kuwabara laughed loudly and obnoxiously, elbowing Yusuke in the side. "Blue berries, blue balls."

"Are you all just going to ignore me?" Hiei growled up at the three taller young men. "What the hell is 'blue balls'?"

"Painful." Kuwabara said as the line moved an inch.

"_Extremely_ painful." Yusuke added, nodding with his arms over his chest. He stopped and looked at Kuwabara. "Wait, how would _you_ know what blue balls feels like?"

"Well-"

"What have you and Yukina been doing?" Yusuke snickered.

Hiei glared at his friends, ignoring the Yukina comment, then turned to Kurama.

"Kurama, can you please tell me what 'blue balls' is?"

Kurama blushed then coughed into his fist, looked around nervously then coughed again. He leaned down and cupped a hand around Hiei's ear and whispered. Yusuke and Kuwabara laughed out loud at the look on Hiei's face, the blush that formed. Hiei stopped blushed, balled his hands into fists and glared at Kuwabara before grabbing his sword.

"Exactly what _have_ you and Yukina been doing?" He growled.

"Nothing!" Kuwabara sputtered, his eyes wide. "I'm a guy! Blue balls happens!"

"Yeah, but usually when you have a girlfriend."

Kuwabara thumped Yusuke on the head with a fist.

"My sex life is none of your concern or business, Urameshi."

"You better not be having a sex life, especially with Yukina!" Hiei snapped.

"Why do you even care?" Kuwabara asked, turning his attention to Hiei, his hands on his hips in a defiant way. "You don't have a crush on my girlfriend, do you?"

Kurama's eyes widened as Yusuke laughed out loud, holding his sides at the thought.

"That's so gross!" He snorted. "Hiei and Yukina –"

"Shut up, Urameshi." Kuwabara snapped.

"Yes, please do." Hiei agreed.

"Can I help you?" The young woman at the counter asked, looking bored and uninterested with the four in front of her.

"Yeah, can I get a peach smoothie?" Kuwabara asked.

"Gay." Yusuke stated.

Kuwabara punched his friend in the chest, not taking his attention away from the girl at the counter. The rest ordered then stepped aside to wait for their orders; Yusuke with a blackberry milkshake, Kurama with blueberry ice cream in a cup and Hiei with a strawberry ice cream cone.

"Careful, don't drop that." Yusuke and Kuwabara joked, watching Hiei with his ice cream.

Hiei gave them a look that made them shut up then let a long string of curse words go from under his breath.

"A'ight, let's go upstairs." Kuwabara said, sipping at his smoothie and nodding towards the escalators.

Yusuke stopped and looked at Kuwabara.

"Did you just say 'a'ight'?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Nothing, nothing." Yusuke shook his head as they headed towards the escalators. "Except for the fact that you sound retarded when you say it."

"Shuddup, Urameshi." Kuwabara grumbled, stepping onto the escalator. "You always gotta put down everything I do."

"I'm just playin' with you!" Yusuke shoved Kuwabara from behind, standing on the step below Kuwabara's. "Get over it, man."

"Be careful, Hiei." Kurama warned as he followed Yusuke and Kuwabara. "You might – Hiei?"

The three on the escalator looked down to see Hiei standing at the bottom of the escalator, looking at it with wide scared eyes as he tried to clutch his ice cream cone to his chest. Yusuke laughed and pointed at him.

"You're not scared of the escalators, are ya, buddy?"

"Of course not!" Hiei yelled up at them. "I just don't trust it."

"It's not a fire breathing dragon, Hiei, it's just moving stairs." Kuwabara called down.

Hiei cautiously took a step onto the escalator and stumbled. He held on tightly to the banister with one hand, gripping his ice cream cone in his other. The three waited at the top of the escalator for Hiei, goofy smiles on Yusuke and Kuwabara's faces.

"See?" Yusuke shrugged. "It's not that bad, huh?"

Hiei nodded as he lifted his foot to step off when he felt a tug on his cloak. He turned to see what looked like the escalator trying to eat his cloak. His eyes widened and he let out a choked gasp and fell backwards, his ice cream flying out of his hand and landing at the bottom of the escalator. Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama ran to Hiei's side, pulling him free before the escalator ate the rest of his cloak.

"Are you all right, Hiei?" Kurama asked, his eyebrows bunched in concern.

Hiei shook his head then looked at the hand that had held his ice cream cone. He gasped and looked at the bottom of the escalator to see a janitor cleaning up the fallen ice cream.

"No!" Hiei cried, jumping up. "My ice cream!"

He looked at his tattered and ripped cloak.

"My cloak!" He turned to the escalator and began kicking at it. He unsheathed his sword and lifted it above his head when he felt his three friends grabbing at him.

"Hiei, no!" Kurama shouted.

"Stop, bad dog, bad dog!" Kuwabara scolded.

"This is a big no-no, Hiei!" Yusuke warned frantically as they pulled Hiei away from the escalator. "You wanna get us kicked outta here?"

Hiei spun around and glared at the three, pointing at the escalator.

"That _thing_ ripped my cloak and killed my ice cream!" He shouted. "I didn't even get to taste it yet!"

The three looked at Hiei as he pouted and a crowd of people began to form around them, mumbling about what had just happened.

"Is that a real sword?" An older woman asked, holding her young son back.

"What the hell happened?" An older man with a moustache asked.

"Uh . . . nothing to see here, folks!" Yusuke said as he, Kuwabara and Kurama ushered Hiei away. "Nothing to see at all!"

"Did you call me a 'bad dog' earlier, idiot?" Hiei glared up at Kuwabara as they continued walking. "I am not an animal!"

"It's a joke, shrimp, get over it."

"Do you want another ice cream, Hiei?" Kurama asked, changing the subject and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Would that make you feel better?"

"I am not a child, Kurama!" Hiei snapped, slapping Kurama's hand away. "But yes, another ice cream would make me feel better."

Yusuke and Kuwabara snickered but stopped when Hiei glared at them.

"Sorry, Hiei." They said in unison, looking away from him.

The group made their way to another food court on the floor they were on to get Hiei another ice cream cone. Hiei crossed his arms over his chest in a huff as he pouted. He smiled as Yusuke handed him a new strawberry ice cream cone with sprinkles and gummy bears and sour gummy worms. He made a face as he picked up one of the gummy worms.

"No." He said flatly and held it out to Yusuke, as if he were a four year old. "I don't want the worms."

"Are you serious?" Yusuke asked, receiving a nod from Hiei. "All right, hand them over."

Yusuke cupped his hands, letting Hiei drop the sour gummy worms into his hands. Kuwabara nudged Yusuke, elbowing him in the side.

"Hey, you're gonna share those, right?"

"Uh, uh!" Yusuke shook his head. "Git yer own, bitch!"

Kuwabara made a face at Yusuke then turned to Hiei.

"Are you gonna eat the bears?"

Hiei held the ice cream out to Kuwabara, letting him pick the gummy bears off. Hiei looked at Kurama to see him staring at the ice cream cone.

"Can I –"

"No, you can't have the sprinkles!" Hiei snapped.

"Oh. Well, can I have a bite?"

"No, you can't have a bite!" Hiei snapped.

"Jerk." Kurama muttered. "All right, let's go to the next floor. There's the up escalator."

"No!" Hiei screamed, flinging his ice cream up into the air.

The four watched with wide eyes as the ice cream flew through the air in slow motion.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Hiei shouted, also in slow motion as he ran to try and catch it.

The ice cream cone landed on the ground with a splat and Hiei resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum.

"Why does my life have to suck?" He said through grit teeth, balling his hands up into fists.

"Gummy worm?" Yusuke asked, appearing at Hiei's right and dangling a gummy worm in his face.

"Gummy bear?" Kuwabara asked, appearing at Hiei's left and holding out a gummy bear.

"Get the hell away from me." He snapped. "I want to leave. Right now."

"Hold on, I haven't gotten what I wanted yet." Kuwabara protested. "We have to go upstairs."

"You okay with the escalator, Hiei?" Yusuke asked.

"Just stay close by." Hiei muttered, following his three tall friends to the up escalator.

Hiei practically clung to Yusuke's back as they went up, Yusuke and Kuwabara snickering and cracking jokes the entire time. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he jumped and punched them both in the head.

"All right, Foot Locker!" Kuwabara exclaimed, running towards the store. "Time to get my socks!"

Hiei was quiet for a moment before erupting in anger.

"Socks!" He screamed. "Socks! We came here so that fucking buffoon could buy some damn _socks_?!"

Yusuke and Kurama blinked in surprise as Hiei paced in a small circle, continuing his rant.

"I lost _two_ ice cream cones that _I hadn't even taken a damn bite out of yet_! My cloak is _ripped to shreds_ because of that . . . that. . . mechanic _beast_!"

"It's called an 'escalator', Hiei." Kurama correct.

"It's called a 'son of a bitch'!" Hiei shouted at Kurama. "I am going to kill that tall retard as soon as he walks out of that damn store!"

Kuwabara pranced out of the store, laughing idiotically as he swung his bag with his new pair of socks inside. He stopped short as Hiei charged towards him.

"I'm going to literally kick the living shit out of you!" Hiei screamed before letting out a high pitched sound that was intended to be his war cry.

Kuwabara squealed and ran away, Hiei chasing after him and screaming vulgarities at him. Yusuke and Kurama sighed then looked at each other.

"Next time, we'll just take the elevator." Yusuke said.

Kurama nodded in agreement.


	6. Famous

Okay, so, I know, this one isn't that funny and I think that maybe I'll delete it and then redo it because I think it has some potential. . . What do you think? So, this chapter is like an anime crossover. Okay, so before you hit that review button and tell me that someone is Out of Character, let me tell you politely to take your review and shove it because I know they're out of character, I don't need a reminder.:) Also, I know this isn't the right place for this but I'm looking for someone to Beta a new story I'm working on (a Dragonball Z/Lupin the 3rd crossover) - if anybody's interested, let me know. That being said, enjoy!:D

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Yusuke stood with a hand on his hip as he looked out the wall-length window of his ocean view mansion. He balled his free hand into a fist and pounded lightly on the window, watching the waved crash against the sandy beach shore.

"That idiot." He mumbled. "Fame's gone to his fucking head."

Yes, they were famous, all of them were. _Yu Yu Hakusho_ was a big hit television show all over the world. They were on the covers of magazines, on commercials, they partied hard with other anime stars (some partied a little too hard), they were at red carpet premiers. The paparazzi followed them almost everywhere (Kuwabara had been kicked out of a restaurant for screaming at a paparazzo for following him into the bathroom and asking personal questions).

They were definitely famous and Yusuke, the star of the show, tried hard to not let their fame get to him. He rarely splurged on expensive things; the most expensive things he owned was his house and his car . . . and his mother's house. The guy had to buy his mom _something_.

After the show ended, the cast tried to branch out; Yusuke started his own band (which Kuwabara occasionally drummed for), Keiko (yes, Keiko) had become a model – working for Victoria's Secret and the occasional runway, Botan was a fashion designer, Kurama still acted, getting guest star rolls on other shows and Kuwabara had a successful career as a rap artist. Hiei, at first indifferent about their newfound stardom, had said he didn't care about it, but it soon became obvious that that was a lie.

Hiei spent money right and left, throwing it around as if it were toilet paper. Out of the entire cast, he partied the hardest. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was the biggest troublemaker of the group. And things had gotten worse since he had gotten married (or eloped). Yusuke knew right away that she was a no good gold digger, which didn't make sense since she was also famous.

The front door opened and Yusuke heard familiar footsteps.

"Urameshi," Kuwabara stated, whipping his black aviators off his face. "What's goin' on?"

"Check this shit out." Yusuke grumbled, turning around and picking up a magazine from the coffee table and handing it to Kuwabara. "Front page bull shit!"

Kuwabara's face scrunched as he read the cover silently, his lips moving as they formed the words – _Jaganshi and Mine: The next Kurt and Courtney?_ Kuwabara looked up at his best friend.

"What the hell is this?"

"It's a fucking tabloid about Hiei and that whore he's with." Yusuke sighed exasperatedly. "I can't believe I even introduced them!"

Ha, yes, Yusuke had indeed introduced Hiei to his new wife. It had been at a house party of an anime legend, a good friend of Yusuke's – Lupin the Third. Hiei had pulled Yusuke aside and pointed Lupin's female cast member out in the crowd.

"_Detective, who is that?"_

"_That's Fujiko Mine, stupid." Yusuke jerked away, smirking. "You like her or something? Want me to go talk to her for you?"_

The rest was history.

"I can't _believe _this!" Kuwabara said, flipping through the pages of the tabloid to find the article. "Erratic behavior, police being called to their house! People think they're doing drugs, they suspect spousal abuse? Urameshi, this crazy! This is bad!"

"I know!" Yusuke growled, balling his hands into fists. "And we have that damn award show tonight. We're gonna be laughingstocks."

"We just gotta be the supportive best friends." Kuwabara said.

"No, not anymore."

Kuwabara and Yusuke looked to the door to see Kurama standing there, looking serious. He walked in and sat down next to Kuwabara.

"He's gone too far."

"What're you talkin' about?" Kuwabara asked.

"Turn to page twelve." Yusuke and Kurama said in unison.

Kuwabara flipped to page twelve in the magazine. Kurama pointed at something in the article and Kuwabara gasped.

"'I'm sick of all those assholes from that shitty show!' Jaganshi shouted, giving the finger before he got into his car. 'I held that show together, they were nothing without me!' This goes on and on with him badmouthin' us! That . . . creep!" Kuwabara crumbled the magazine up. "The next time I see that little jerk, I'm gonna –"

"No violence." Kurama warned. "We have to act like this doesn't bother us, just ignore it. We know what he wants; he just wants to get a rise out of us. We have to just act like nothing happened."

"So, you want us to be two-face?" Kuwabara grumbled, standing. "That's bull shit, Kurama! I can't just stand by and let him say all the stuff about us!"

"Oh, so you read my article."

The three looked back to see Hiei standing in the doorway, sunglasses covering his eyes and an evil smirk on his face. He looked a lot skinnier and paler.

"Hiei." Kuwabara growled. "Get outta here, you punk! Nobody wants you here!"

"I invited him, Kuwabara." Yusuke said, not taking his eyes off Hiei. "We need to talk. Take those sunglasses off."

"No." Hiei's smirk widened. "You guys are jealous, aren't you? You're just mad that you couldn't anything as hot as Fujiko, you're mad that you're not as good as I am."

"Fuck you, Hiei!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Stop it, you guys!" Keiko pleaded running into the room. "I just got the baby to sleep! Please!"

She left the room as quickly as she came in. The three sighed and looked at Hiei. Hiei took his sunglasses off, revealing dark circles under his eyes from his constant late night parties.

"Could you just pull yourself together, just for tonight, Hiei?" Kurama asked. "Just pretend like we're friends tonight at the award show."

"Hn." Hiei made a face. "No way. I've always hated you guys, you've done nothing but drag me down since that show started."

He put his sunglasses back on and flipped them the bird before leaving the mansion. "Ciao!"

Later that night, the blue and green and white stretch limo with the YYH logo on the side slowly made its way down the road; the cast, dressed up nicely, were inside, sitting as far away from Hiei as they possibly could, who was drinking champagne from the bottle.

"If he hates us so much, why is he even here?" Shizuru asked in a low voice.

"I wanted to make you guys look halfway decent tonight, you dyke." Hiei hissed at Shizuru.

"Leave my sexual orientation out of this, asshole!" Shizuru shouted back; she had recently come out publicly, telling everyone that she had been in a relationship with Sailor Jupiter for the past six months. "It never bothered you before!"

As the limo slowed to a stop, Hiei and Shizuru had begun a shouting matching. Kurama silenced them with a wave of his hands.

"We're here. At least _act_ like we like each other."

The chauffer opened the door and one by one, they piled out, smiling and squinting as the cameras flashed, people shouting at them for short interviews.

"Kuwabara, Yukina! Is it true that you two are expecting?"

"Yusuke, how does it feel to be the star of a hit television show and to have three platinum records?"

"Botan, is it true that you and Bulma from Dragonball Z plan on doing a movie together?"

"Kurama! You're a big hit with the younger girls, you're bigger than the Jonas Brothers!"

"Hiei, where's Fujiko?"

The group turned to see Fujiko saunter away from Lupin, Jigen and Goemon and take Hiei by the hand. The cast of Yu Yu Hakusho groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Well, well, if it isn't the babies."

Yusuke and Kuwabara turned to see two men that were also known as anime legends.

"Hey, Vegeta." Yusuke smirked. "Nice to see you too. Your daughter say anything about me?"

Vegeta made a face; Yusuke and Bra had been together once. Goku smiled and pulled Yusuke and Kuwabara into a big hug.

"Don't worry about Vegeta, he's just stressed." Goku laughed. "And don't worry about your friend, either. He'll be okay."

"How do you know?" Kuwabara asked, his voice unsure.

"I'm Goku! I know everything!" He kept his signature smile on his face. "I know what you're going through, Goten almost went down that road."

They thought back to the year before when Goten, drunk and high on God knows what, became hysterical and frantic, screaming about 'them' trying to get him, and jumped out his bedroom window of the three-story Goku and ChiChi owned and broken almost every bone in his body. Nobody knew who 'them' was supposed to be and everyone was sure that they didn't want to know.

"How is Goten?" Botan asked, popping up in between Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"He's all right, the poor kid." Goku shook his head. "He didn't come tonight, he said it was too soon."

"Hey, Goku!" Goku turned to see Krillin sticking his head out of the open door of the building. "They have giant shrimp cocktails!"

Goku's face lit up.

"Yay, shrimp cocktails!" He exclaimed. He turned around and looked at Yusuke and Kuwabara. "Good luck, you guys!"

"Yeah, you too. Wait, are you guys nominated for something tonight?" Yusuke asked, shaking Goku's hand.

"No, not tonight. Vegeta and I are presenting the award for best fighting anime of the year." Goku nudged Yusuke. "Guess who's nominated?"

"Gee, I wonder, could it be Pokemon?"

Goku and Yusuke shared a laugh before Goku waved goodbye and walked into the building, following Krillin. Vegeta stayed a minute longer, making a face at them that made them laugh. He smirked at them and pounded his fists against Yusuke and Kuwabara's then turned around and went into the building.

"What great guys." Yusuke said.

"Yeah." Kuwabara nodded in agreement.

Lupin, Jigen and Goemon walked by, not paying attention to anyone but themselves as they made their way to the building.

"Speaking of great guys."

Yusuke charged at Lupin, who turned around at the sound of someone running up behind him and smirked, getting into a fighting stance. Yusuke stopped short and also got into a fighting stance. The two stared at each other for a moment, the same smirk on their faces. Lupin grabbed Yusuke and put him in a headlock, grinding his fist into the younger man's hair. Yusuke laughed.

"Ha ha, Lupin! Stop it!"

"You little brat!" Lupin laughed, letting go of Yusuke.

"Lupin, Yusuke! Can we get a picture of you two?" A paparazzo shouted in the crowd.

Lupin and Yusuke slung their arms around each other's shoulders and gave the camera a thumbs up. A million cameras flashed and snapped before everyone was ushered into the building for the award ceremony that was about to begin.

Most of the cast of Yu Yu Hakusho sat together, the only ones not in the row was Shizuru, who sat in front of them, holding hands with Jupiter and Hiei, who sat as far away from them as possible, pulling Fujiko with him.

The light dimmed and Ranma and Akane from Ranma ½ appeared on the stage to start the show off with a bang – all the anime characters created by Rumiko Takahashi had preformed a cabaret-like song and dance, ending with the cancan. The night had gone off well until Goku and Vegeta took to the stage (which received a standing ovation) to present the award for Best Fighting Anime of the Year. Vegeta leaned close to the microphone and shouted his famous words.

"It's over nine thousand!!"

And that sent the audience into hysterics; whooping and screaming and cheering and clapping.

Goku smiled and looked right at the camera, waiting patiently for the audience to stop clapping and sit back down.

"Y'know," He started, clearing his throat. "It wasn't long ago that Vegeta and I were up accepting this award. I remember the first time I received this award for _Dragonball_, that was one of the best nights of my life. And I remember the first time we won for _Dragonball Z_, Gohan was four and was completely scared when I brought him up here. And I remember when we won for the Cell Saga, we partied hard that night. And I –"

"Kakarott, this is an award show, not a time to reminisce. We have a time limit." Vegeta grumbled, smirking.

The audience laughed then Goku and Vegeta named off the nominees. Goku was handed the envelope, which Vegeta snatched away from him. Vegeta reached into the breast pocket of his tuxedo and pulled out his reading glasses and put them on.

"And the winner is!" Goku shouted into the microphone.

Vegeta cleared his throat and opened the envelope. The two read the winner then shouted it in unison into the microphone.

"Yu Yu Hakusho!"

The camera panned across the audience to find the cast of Yu Yu Hakusho; the girls had tears in their eyes, Kuwabara punched the air happily, Kurama smiled humbly and Yusuke let out a relieved sigh, an excited look on his face. The three got up and made their way to the stage. They shook hands with Vegeta and Goku, who pulled them into tight congratulatory hugs. The crowd hushed as Yusuke approached the microphone, holding up the award in the air.

"Yeah!" He laughed and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "It's so hot up here. This is, truly, an honor to receive this and I wanna thank my mom and Koenma and the fans – because without you, this wouldn't have been made possible!"

Yusuke moved and Kuwabara took his spot, leaning low to get to the microphone. He looked a little awkward and he laughed nervously.

"Thanks you, guys! This is so great!" He turned and gestured to Goku and Vegeta who were standing off in a corner of the stage, waiting for them to finish up their little speeches. "It's also a huge honor to receive this award from two legends! Give those guys a hand!"

"Oh, stop it!" Goku shouted, laughing. "This is your moment!"

"Don't spoil it on us!" Vegeta shouted back.

Kuwabara moved and Kurama took his place, a look on his face as if he were trying to keep himself from crying and laughing at the same time.

"I had a speech prepared but I just forgot all of it!" He laughed and broke out into tears. "This is one of the best days of my life! Thank you, you guys!"

Everyone turned when they heard a crash from the side of the stage. Hiei stumbled onto the stage, drunk out of his mind.

"I wanna say something!" He screamed, staggering to the podium. He shoved the three away and grabbed the microphone. "Get the fuck outta my way, gimme the mike! Fuck you all!"

Hiei laughed maliciously right before he let out a long string of profanities in a hate-filled speech that offended almost everyone in the audience. Yusuke bared his teeth, yanking Hiei from the podium, but by that time it was too late, everyone was angry and the producers of the show had cut to a ten-minute commercial break. Yusuke pulled Hiei off the stage and out of the auditorium. He slammed him against the wall in the lobby hard, glaring at him.

"Ya couldn't have been sober just this once!" He shouted. "Ya couldn't have just pretended that everything was cool! No, you just had to ruin the best fucking night of all of our lives!"

"Fuck you!" Hiei screamed, shoving Yusuke hard. "I don't give a flying fuck about any of you, especially your retarded award! Without me, you wouldn't have that piece of shit!"

Yusuke slammed Hiei against the wall again.

"Not to sound like a conceited movie star, but it's called "Yu Yu Hakusho", a fucking play off of _my_ name not yours! Sorry to burst your fucking bubble, but you're not the star!"

"Hey, guys, stop!" Kuwabara exclaimed trying to pull Yusuke away from Hiei. "Not here, please!"

Yusuke took a step back and shook Kuwabara off of him. Hiei mad a noise in his throat then spit in Yusuke's face. Yusuke wiped his face with his hand in disgust.

"You're fucking dead to me." He said lowly.

"Likewise." Hiei shot back. He went back into the auditorium and walked back to his seat and yanked Fujiko up by her forearm, practically dragging her out in front of everyone.

"Hiei, what's going on?" She asked as she stumbled to regain her footing when they entered the lobby.

"We're fucking leaving, babe. We're not wanted here."

Yusuke watched as they left the building, catching a cab out front. He sighed and grabbed his hair.

"That's it!" He exclaimed through grit teeth. "I'm getting so drunk tonight that I won't be able to feel anything!"

"Urameshi, he needs help." Kuwabara said softly, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "He needs to go to rehab."

"Fuck him." Yusuke shook Kuwabara off again. "He's dead to me, remember?"

Yusuke went back inside the auditorium; the lights on the stage black and people around whispering. Yusuke sat back down next to Keiko and thought that nothing could get as worse as that night.

That night, Hiei was arrested for assault and battery and possession of cocaine. Fujiko had called the police frantic, screaming that he was trying to kill her before the phone went dead. The police had found the house a totally wreck, Fujiko crying on the floor, guns and katanas everywhere and cocaine on the coffee table. Hiei's arrest was showed repeatedly over and over on every news channel the next night, the same footage of him being lead out of his mansion in handcuffs, with his head hanging.

Yusuke let out a strange sound as he turned the television off. The phone rang, jarring him from his negative thoughts. He grabbed it and put it to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"Did you just see the news?" Kuwabara said breathlessly.

"Yeah, I saw. Paparazzi have been calling all night, asking me shit about the award show. Come on over, I'll call Kurama."

The two hung up and Yusuke called Kurama then the rest of Yu Yu Hakusho. They all met in Yusuke's living room, obviously shaken up.

"What're we going to do?" Botan asked. "We can't just let him rot in jail!"

"Kazuma, we have to bail him out." Yukina pleaded, holding onto Kuwabara. "We have to."

Kuwabara looked from Yukina to Yusuke, who shrugged and shook his head.

"He said we're dead to him. Let's see him try and get out of this on his own."

"He's my brother!" Yukina cried. "And your friend! We have to get him out!"

The room was silent until the phone rang. Everyone knew it was and tensed up. Keiko picked up the phone and handed it to Yusuke.

"Hello?" Yusuke grunted into the phone.

"Yusuke!" Hiei cried on the other end. "Please, you have get me out of here!"

"I thought I was dead to you, Mr. big movie star!"

"Please!" Hiei sobbed into the phone. "I've got nothing left! Fujiko took everything; the house, my money, my cars! I have nothing. I am so sorry."

Yusuke blinked back tears then cleared his throat.

"If I do it, you have to promise to do one thing for me. For all of us."

Everyone seemed to tense up then relax at the same time as Yusuke went to the window that displayed the ocean.

"Anything." Hiei sniffled. "Just get me out of here."

Yusuke sighed.

"We'll be right there."

Yusuke hung up and everyone followed him out of the mansion to his car. He instructed the women to stay there, that only Kurama and Kuwabara were allowed to go with him. They slammed their car doors and Yusuke sped off.

Hiei sat in the cold jail cell, his head hanging. He had been such an idiot. His head was pounding with a hangover and his heart was pounding because of the cocaine in his system from the night before.

"Hey, buddy."

Hiei looked up to see Yusuke standing in front of his cell, Kuwabara and Kurama on either side of him. He smiled and jumped up, running to the cell door.

"Yusuke, I am so sorry." He blubbered as he began to cry. "I swear I won't do this ever again. I'll go, I'll go I swear."

The next morning, Hiei was admitted to a rehabilitation center where he stayed for a few months before being released on good behavior. He stayed with Yukina and Kuwabara for a while then moved in with Kurama until he got his feet on the ground. When his divorce from Fujiko was finalized, he was relieved to know that he was able to keep his things.

Months later, Yusuke had thrown a barbeque in his backyard, inviting almost everyone he knew; everyone from Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Lupin the Third (excluding Fujiko, of course (Yusuke didn't want a fight to break out between her and Hiei)), Ranma ½, Urusei Yatsura, Trigun among others.

Yusuke laughed at something Kuwabara said when Hiei tugged his arm, pulling his attention to his short friend.

"Yusuke." Hiei pointed to a group of women, one of which Shizuru was holding hands with. "Who is that in the red and white sailor scout uniform, the one with the black hair?"

Yusuke looked at whom he was pointing at and smiled to himself before turning to Hiei, who seemed to be waiting for Yusuke's answer.

"That's Rae, man. She's Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon." He put his hand on Hiei's shoulder. "Want me to talk to her for you?"

Hiei nodded and Yusuke's smile widened.

"She's a lot better than Fujiko, no offense. She'll be good for you, man, she'll keep you in line."

Hiei smirked as Yusuke walked off to the Sailor Scouts and Shizuru. Sailor Mars glanced over and gave Hiei a wink, which made him blush.

The next year, they were married. They are now expecting twins.


	7. Gay Marriage

Okay, so I _totally _forgot all about A-Z for a while, which is weird because I _totally_ had an idea for "G". I spaced on this and I have finals so chyeah. I'm so glad that I remembered this story (I'm currently lacking inspiration for two of my other stories (Octopus' Garden and Uh, Oh! The 3rd) and wanted to work on something else and so this came about!) Okay, I'm rambling and I'll stop now.:P I wrote all of this last night, it took me almost and hour and a half, I think, I don't remember.:P So, this is not - I repeat, this is _not_ about Kurama, but about Yusuke and Kuwabara . . . Err, well. . . you'll see. Enjoy!^_^

* * *

Kurama ran around the living room of his house, frantically looking for something with a wide excited smile on his face.

"Mother!" He called into the kitchen, his words rushing together. "Where are my shoes?"

"They're by the door, dear." Shiori called back, the tone in her voice calm and yet with an undertone of frustration.

Ever since Kurama had found out this 'great news' that morning he had been rushing around the house, trying to get ready to leave. Apparently, he had to run over to the Kuwabara household as soon as possible and tell them the good news – seeing as how they slept in on Saturdays and didn't watch the news.

He swiveled his head to the door and his face lit up when he saw his shoes. Slipping them on, he thanked his mother then ran out the door. A moment later, he opened the door again and stuck his head inside.

"Mother, it's cold outside. Do you know where my jacket is?"

"It should be hanging up by the door, Suichi."

Kurama's eyes shifted to the side to the coat rack. He grabbed his jacket, thanked his mother then ran out again. He did not stop running until he got to the door of Kuwabara's apartment. He pounded on the door violently until Kuwabara answered, yawning and rubbing his eye with a fist.

"Wha – Kurama?" He scratched the back of his head. "What're you doing here?"

"I have some very important news!" Kurama blurted, pushing passed Kuwabara and going inside the apartment. "Where's your sister?"

Kuwabara blinked, dumbfounded. He closed the door and scratched the back of his head again, staring at Kurama with a confused look on his face.

"Uh, she's still asleep. It's the weekend."

"I'll go wake her up!" Kurama announced, running towards Shizuru's bedroom. "Shizuru, wake up! This is important!!"

Yusuke, who had been sleeping on the couch, woke up to the sound of Kurama screaming out Shizuru's name. He sat up and looked around, stretching his arms up above his head. He looked back at Kuwabara, matching his big friend's confused facial expression.

"What the hell's going on?" Yusuke croaked, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and stretching again. "Why's Kurama here and what's he yellin' about?"

"That's what I wanna know." Kuwabara shrugged. "I have no idea. He looks insane."

Kurama pranced back into the living room of the apartment, the wide happy grin never leaving his face as he spun around the room, twirling and spinning long pink and orange silk ribbons in the air. Shizuru followed in after him, her indifferent look on her face and her signature cigarette at her lips. Kuwabara and Yusuke looked at each other again, eyebrows quirked as they wondered the same thing – Where in the _hell_ did Kurama get the ribbons?

"So, what's so important, Kurama?" Shizuru asked, folding her arms over her chest. "I was in the middle of bathing my pink elephant Sprinkles."

Kuwabara sat down next to Yusuke, the two blinking together in confusion.

"I was just watching the news this morning while I was eating my bran cereal –"

"Oh, I love bran cereal!" Shizuru nodded. "It prevents rectal cancer!"

"And it tastes good, too!" Kurama added, spinning around the room. "Well, I was watching the news and they've just made gay marriage legal!"

There was a sudden awkward silence in the room for a moment before Shizuru sighed and shook her head.

"Uh, Kurama?" Yusuke stammered. "Are you telling us somethi –"

"Finally!" Shizuru interrupted, running to the phone. "Finally, we can get married and spend the rest of our lives together like we planned!"

Kuwabara and Yusuke looked at each other, then back at Shizuru as she made her important phone call.

"Did you hear, my love?" She squealed into the phone. "They've made gay marriage legal!"

The three in the room could hear the woman on the other end of the phone shrieking in happiness. Shizuru's wide smile almost matched Kurama's.

"Come over as soon as you can!" Shizuru exclaimed into the phone. "And bring your green hat!"

Shizuru hung up the phone and Kuwabara and Yusuke watched as it disappeared into purple and pink pixie dusts and floated around Shizuru. A minute later, the door flew open and Atsuko barged in, wearing a green fuzzy top hat and a strapless ivory form-fitting wedding gown and matching gloves.

"Darling!" Shizuru shouted, running towards Yusuke's mother with her arms out to her.

"Angel face!" Atsuko shouted, running towards Shizuru with her arms out.

The two women embraced in the middle of the room, sharing an intense passionate open-mouthed kiss – much to Kuwabara and Yusuke's disgust. Kurama watched them intently as if it were the most beautiful thing in the world, his smile never leaving his face. Kuwabara covered his mouth to keep him from vomiting as his body lurched forward and he made a disgusted noise in his throat. Yusuke sat and stared at the (disturbing) display of affection transpiring between his mother and his best friend's sister, his eye visibly twitching occasionally. He stood up suddenly, balling his hands into fists and putting them on his hips.

"All right! Now, just what the hell is going on here?" He demanded.

"Yusuke," Atsuko said, putting her arms around Shizuru's waist and nuzzling her lovingly. "We're in love."

"And we plan on getting married." Shizuru added, putting her arm around Atsuko's shoulders. "Don't we, darling?"

"As soon as possible, angel face!" Atsuko nodded.

"How long has this been going on?" Yusuke asked, raising his voice slightly. "How long have you been together? Scratch that! How long have you guys been lesbians?!"

"Ever since we saw _The L Word_ over at Kurama's birthday party." Atsuko looked at Shizuru with a dreamy look in her eyes. "It was love and first sight."

"Wait . . . Kurama's birthday party?" Kuwabara mumbled. "Why weren't _we_ invited?"

"How long have you been together?" Yusuke asked, his eye still twitching.

"Ever since you got hit by that car." Shizuru shrugged. "Everybody knew about it."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Kuwabara jumped up. "You didn't know Yusuke's mom then, Shizuru, and we didn't even meet Kurama yet! And what do you mean 'everybody knew about it'?"

"Yeah!"

"Just that, it's no secret."

Yusuke and Kuwabara turned to look at Kurama, glaring at him angrily.

"You knew about this?!" They screamed in unison at him.

"Yes, yes, I did." He nodded. "But I'm not the only one. Hiei knows, too. And so do Genkai and Keiko and Yukina – oh! Won't they be happy when they find out gay marriage is legal?"

Kurama stomped his feet happily, squealing.

"They'll be so excited! A double wedding, I can't wait!"

"A WHAT!" Kuwabara and Yusuke screamed together. "Since when have Keiko and Yukina been together?"

"Ever since we saw _The L Word_ at Kurama's birthday party," Keiko answered, hopping in through the living room window dressed as Romeo with a little penciled on moustache. "It was love at first sight."

"Yes, it was." Yukina, dressed as Juliet, agreed as Keiko helped her in through the window. "Ever since you go hit by that car. Everybody knew about it."

"Even I knew about it." Said a deep voice by Kuwabara's ankles.

Kuwabara looked down to see Eikichi looking up at him.

"Eikichi, I thought you were a girl!"

"Stupid, stupid human boy!" Eikichi shook her – er, _his_ head. "I have no gender and my name is Steve!"

"Oh, my God!" Kuwabara grabbed his head, doubling over. "This can't be happening!"

Kuwabara turned to Yusuke.

"Our girlfriends are lesbians, Urameshi!"

"Keiko!" Yusuke grabbed Keiko by her upper arms. "Tell me this is just a joke! It's a joke, right? And what's with that ridiculous moustache?"

"Hey!" Yukina shoved Yusuke away hard. "Leave my woman alone!"

"Oh, sister!" Hiei exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do better than that idiot Kazuma Kuwabara!"

"Hey, shorty, shut the fuck up!" Kuwabara shouted, shaking his fist at Hiei. "Hey, what the hell? Where did you come from?"

"I'll give you three seconds to back away from my woman or I'll blow your head off!" Yukina threatened, pulling a bazooka out of nowhere and aiming it at Yusuke's face.

Yusuke gulped, eyes wide, and backed away. He looked at Keiko with a hurt expression on his face.

"Keiko . . . why?"

"I'm sorry, Yusuke." Keiko huffed, turning her head away from him angrily. "You never pay any attention to me anymore! You don't know how to touch me like a lover should!"

"Oh, wow, TMI!" Kuwabara exclaimed. He blinked as Keiko's words settled in his head. "Yukina! You're dating Keiko! What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, Kazuma, I really am." Yukina shrugged, looking innocent once again. "It's just that . . . Keiko knows how to do things with her tongue that –"

"Idoanwannahearthis!" Kuwabara exclaimed, clamping his hands over his ears. "Lalala, I'm not listening! Lalala, I'm not listening!"

"Come!" Kurama clapped his hands together. "To the wedding!"

Everyone – excluding Yusuke and Kuwabara – looked up at the ceiling and cupped their hands around theirs mouths.

"Come, Magic Cloud!" They shouted.

"What in the he-"

Yusuke was interrupted by the ceiling breaking in half and a giant familiar yellow cloud appearing above them.

"Urameshi, is that the Flying Nimbus?" Kuwabara pointed, blinking.

"I don't even know anymore." Yusuke muttered as everyone climbed onto the giant Flying Nimbus and zoomed off to a church.

"If anyone has any objections, please speak now or forever hold your peace!" Jorge said, looking up from his bible to smile at the four brides in front of them.

Kuwabara raised his hand slightly and opened his mouth to speak when everyone turned and glared at him. He yelped and put his hand down.

"You may kiss the brides!" Jorge exclaimed, tossing his little black bible up into the air and watching it explode into thousands of white doves and confetti.

The four brides kissed and everyone cheered happily, except for Kuwabara and Yusuke. Yusuke kept shaking his head as Kuwabara covered his face in his hands and started crying.

Yusuke gasped, jerking awake. He sat up in bed, staring at nothing in the darkness of his bedroom as he breathed heavily.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" He mumbled.

He jumped again when the phone rang loudly from its spot on his bedside table. He reached over and picked it up, knowing full well who it was. He put the phone to his ear, his breath finally regulating.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Urameshi." Kuwabara breathed heavily into the phone. "I just had the craziest dream ever."

"Yeah, me too."

"Was it about –"

"Your sister and my mom getting married? Yeah, it was."

"And Yukina and Keiko –"

"Left us and also got married. Yeah."

Kuwabara was silent for a moment.

"And Eikichi's real name was Steve and Hiei's actually Yukina's brother?"

"Yeah, Kuwabara. All of that happened."

"Even the pink elephant named Sprinkles and the Flying Nimbus?"

"Yeah, all of it."

"Wow," Kuwabara let out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank God it was just a dream, right?"

"Right!" Yusuke nodded. "No more pepperoni pizza with macaroni and cheese and bacon bits and anchovies before bed anymore, okay man?"

"Yeah, most def!" Kuwabara agreed. "That was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me!"

"Yeah, me too! I –"

Yusuke jumped, hearing someone pounding against his bedroom wall from the other side (his mother's room).

"Hey, settle down in 'ere!" A loud familiar Australian-accented voice shouted from the other side. "Some people are tryin' to get jiggy with it in here!"

Yusuke's face turned green and sickly as he listened to his mother laugh from her bedroom.

"Oh, Chu!" He heard yell drunkenly. "I love you! Let's get married and have thousands of little Atsuko/Chu babies!"

Yusuke leaned over the side of his bed and threw up.

"U . . . Urameshi, you all right?"

Yusuke put the phone to his ear again, his breathing becoming labored.

"I really hope that I'm still dreamin' and I'll just wake up soon."

* * *

I also want to say that I, like most Californians, am pissed off that Prop 8 passed. And to the people who voted 'yes' on 8 - Thanks a bunch, people, thanks a _ton_! Really. Thank you so much for the discrimination and the hate. It really shouldn't matter what your gender is, if you're in love and you want to get married - GO RIGHT AHEAD!! 8 is HATE! Sorry for the little outburst of my political views, I know this isn't the time or the place but still it's so aggravating that there are so many close-minded people out there!


	8. Heat

Okay, finally! I got my computer back about a month ago and since then, I've been hella busy and had no inspiration to write. I just dicked around with this one - it was originally supposed to be "Heath Ledger" but then I was thinking "Hey, why not do a Halloween horror one?" and started doing that but I hated the way that one was going to I started over and here it is - "Heat"! Enjoy, everybody! Lots of love and enjoy your summer, guys!:D

* * *

Yusuke woke up, dripping with sweat. Sometime during the middle of the night, he had kicked the blankets off of him and knocked them to the floor. He groaned as beads of sweat skied into his eyes. His body felt heavy as he forced himself to sit up. He opened the blinds and squinted out the window; children ran around outside, laughing as they played in the water spurting from the fire hydrant. He wanted nothing more than to feel that cold water against his burning skin. He turned to the mini purple fan on his bedside table and grabbed the cord attached to it. He fiddled with the switch, which clinked but didn't turn on the fan. He checked to make sure it was plugged in then tried it again.

Groaning, he gave up and lay back down. He could hear the water pipes creaking as his mother started a shower on the other side of the wall. He forced himself out of bed and stretched.

"It's so fucking hot!" He whined to himself, tugging on a pair of shorts and slipping his feet into a pair of flip-flops. He didn't even bother to put on a shirt.

Grabbing his cell phone off of his desk and shoving it into his pocket, he yanked his bedroom door open and wandered out into the living room.

"Ma, I'm leaving! I'll be back whenever!" He shouted as he opened the front door and stepped out. "Seeya later!"

He slammed the door behind him and started walking towards his best friend's house. Little children screamed with laughter as they ran through sprinklers and slid down Slip N Slides in their front yards.

It was officially summer and there had been a heat wave for the past few days. It had been hard for him to do anything at all. All his friends were busy, either working or doing summer school work. He didn't understand how people could waste their summer doing things like that. He shook his head as he walked up the stairs to Kuwabara's apartment. Without knocking, he opened the door and invited himself in. He know neither of the Kuwabara siblings would care, it was basically his second home. He stopped and shook his head again, this time at his best friend.

Kuwabara lay sprawled out on the living room floor in his tighty-whiteys, his eyes closed tight. His pale body dripped with sweat and his face was red with a look of disgruntlement and frustration.

"Hey, Urameshi." He grumbled, not opening his eyes. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," Yusuke shrugged. "Bored, can't sleep."

"Glad to know that I'm the first person you go to, to keep you entertained."

"Yeah," Yusuke moved to sit down on the couch.

"Don't sit!" Kuwabara shouted, sitting up. "It's leather, you'll stick and it'll hurt when you try to get up."

"Fine." Yusuke shrugged and sat down next to Kuwabara on the floor. "So, Spiderman, huh? What, your X-Men ones were dirty?"

"Leave me and my tighty-whiteys alone." Kuwabara whined, lying back down. "Gah, I love hardwood floors."

"I'm not dissin' your tighty-whiteys, I just think it's weird that you try to force yourself into underwear made for little kids."

"These are adult sized!" Kuwabara snapped. "I got them offa eBay!"

"I wouldn't trust underwear bought on eBay."

"Shut up." Kuwabara grumbled. "I'm so bored and there's nothing on TV. My sister's at work and she's going outta town after work so I get the place for the weekend."

"Party at the Kuwabara place!"

"No parties, I don't wanna get in trouble."

"You won't, trust me."

"Let's go do something!" Kuwabara exclaimed, jumping up and changing the subject. "I don't wanna be in my house all day!"

"Sounds like a plan, know what Kurama and Hiei are doin'?"

"Nope, but call Kurama and see what's up." Kuwabara called over his shoulder as he left the living room to his bedroom.

"A'ight," Yusuke took his cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open. He pressed 4 on his speed dial and put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Kurama. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much, Yusuke. I'm trying to fix my air conditioner, it broke about twenty minutes ago."

"Dude, that sucks. You should grab Hiei and head over to Kuwabara's. We're gonna go do something to beat the heat."

"Oh, really? Like what?"

"We don't know yet." Yusuke chuckled. "Get over here and help us think of something."

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit." With that, Kurama hung up.

Yusuke flipped his phone closed and put it back into his pocket as Kuwabara came out of his bedroom wearing blue and white striped swim trunks and a matching towel around his neck.

"What's up, man?"

"Nothing," Yusuke shrugged. "Kurama and Hiei should be over in a few minutes. What's with the swimming attire?"

"Well, I was thinking about how good an icy shower would feel right about now and then I thought what better way to beat this heat than to go swimming? You wanna go?"

"Sounds like a plan, lemme call Kurama back and tell him to bring his swim shit."

"Tell him to bring that sun block that smells like blueberries."

Yusuke made a face as he put his phone to his ear again and called Kurama. He waved Kuwabara away with a hand. The bigger teen grunted in aggravation then went to his kitchen.

"We should make it a picnic, dude!" Kuwabara called from the kitchen as he rummaged through the refrigerator. "Tell Kurama to bring some fruit and soda!"

"Fruit? What the hell?" Yusuke stood and stretched, his back popping. He groaned in annoyance as the phone call went to voicemail. "Hey, Kurama! Kuwabara wants to go swimming and he wants to have a picnic so bring some fruit and soda."

"And the blueberry sun block!" Kuwabara yelled form the kitchen.

"And the blueberry sun block." Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Seeya."

Yusuke hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to check on Kuwabara, who was packing a picnic basket. He stopped in his tracks and started laughing.

"Hey, little red riding hood, where'd you get that basket?"

"Fuck you, people still do have picnic baskets, you know." Kuwabara grumbled, putting sandwiches in the basket.

"Yeah, old people."

Kuwabara spun around and pointed to the basket, glaring at his best friend.

"It was my great grandmother's!"

"Yeah, like I said – old people."

"You leave my Nan-Nan alone!"

"I'm not talking shit about your Nan-Nan," Yusuke snickered. "I'm sure Nan-Nan Kuwabara is pretty much a pimp."

"She is, she's got a grill and a diamond-studded cane and everything." Kuwabara laughed then turned back to the basket. "Wanna help me with this?"

"Ew, yogurt?" Yusuke picked up a container of yogurt, giving it a quizzical look before putting in the basket. "Which one of us eats yogurt?"

"Kurama and I do. It's good for you."

"It looks like someone already ate it."

"Urameshi!" Kuwabara whined. "Leave the yogurt alone!"

Yusuke opened his mouth to say something back but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Throwing the container of yogurt at his friend's head, he went to answer the door. He grinned when he saw Kurama and Hiei.

"Hey, guys, what's up?"

He looked them over to see that they were both wearing swim trunks and white shirts. The sight of Hiei in a pair of black trunks two sizes to big for him made Yusuke laugh out loud.

"Look at you with your skinny little chicken legs, Hiei!" Yusuke exclaimed as he let his friends into the house. "Jeez, you look like a little kid playing dress up."

"Go to hell, Yusuke." Hiei spat back bitterly.

"They were the only other pair that I had." Kurama piped up, hoping to stop the fight before it started. He lifted up a large container of berries and sliced melon. "I brought fruit!"

"Yes, fruit!" Kuwabara exclaimed from the kitchen.

"I don't understand what's so great about fruit." Yusuke mumbled to Hiei as Kurama went into the kitchen.

"I don't understand it, either." Hiei answered, huffily. "We went to several different stores, trying to find the right kind of fruit."

"The right kind? What the hell?"

"That's exactly what I said!"

"You two just don't appreciate fruit as much as we do!" Kuwabara grumbled, standing in the entryway of the kitchen with the basket in his hand.

"We obviously don't appreciate picnic baskets as much as you do, either." Hiei said snidely, eyeing the basket.

"This was my great-grandmother's!" Kuwabara whined, shaking the basket at the short demon. "This is a family heirloom!"

"Where did you want to go swimming?" Kurama asked, hopefully to dismantle a fight before it started.

"I was thinking the community pool then the park for the picnic," Kuwabara shrugged before turning to Yusuke. "Do you need trunks?"

"Naw, I'm good."

"Great." Kuwabara pointed to the door. "Let's go!"

****

The four stood in the entryway of the Men's dressing room of the community pool, their mouths gaping as they stared at the crowded pool area. The pool was packed so full that there wasn't even enough room to swim, just wade, the tables under the shade of umbrellas were all taken – even the kiddy pool was full!

The four shook their heads, turned around and went through the dressing room to get to Kurama's car in the parking lot.

"What now?" Yusuke asked as they left the parking lot.

"Ah, leather seats!" Kuwabara squealed as his sweaty back stuck to the tan leather backseat of Kurama's car.

Yusuke punched Kuwabara in the stomach then leaned forward so he was between Kurama and Hiei in the front seat.

"I don't know, Yusuke." Kurama sighed. "I'm drawing a blank, any ideas?"

"Oh!" Yusuke snapped his fingers. "I know! The beach!"

"Sound perfect." Kurama nodded, turning around and going back in the direction of the beach.

"Turn on the air conditioner, Kurama. This sweltering heat is killing me." Hiei hissed as he looked out his window.

"You could have just said 'please', Hiei." Kuwabara rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me come back there, idiot!" Hiei shouted, spinning around to glare at Kuwabara.

"Bring it, shorty!" Kuwabara shot back, struggling to unbuckle so he could get in Hiei's face.

"Guys, guys! Settle down!" Kurama said. "I'm turning the air on, just calm down."

The rush of cold air calmed Hiei and Kuwabara down, who sighed audibly and relaxed back into their seats.

"The heat is really getting to you guys." Kurama shook his head.

"Yeah," Yusuke said slowly, looking from Hiei to Kuwabara. "It's heat."

****

The four hopped down the dunes quickly, working up a sweat and trying to keep their bare feet from being burned by the sand. They stopped immediately after hearing people screaming and laughing. They scanned the beach to see that it was even more crowded than the community pool! Kuwabara growled.

"There are too many people!" He shouted. "Where the hell can we go where there aren't that many people to bother us?"

A brightly colored beach ball made contact with the back of Hiei's head, causing him to fall over face-first into the sand. He sat up quickly, sputtering out a mouthful of sand as a young man ran up and picked up the ball, giving Hiei a dirty look.

"You're supposed to catch it, dumbass." The young man said snottily before walking away.

"Are you okay, Hiei?" Kurama asked, helping his short friend up.

"I'm going to have to agree with Kuwabara on this one," Hiei glared at the back of the rude young man's head, hoping it would explode. "There are too many people, too many witnesses."

"Witnesses?" Kurama repeated quizzically, arching an eyebrow.

"What?" Hiei asked, raising his voice as he turned his head away from Kurama. "I'm hard of hearing in that ear, Kurama. Next time, speak up."

"C'mon, guys, this place ain't that bad." Yusuke drooled, looking up a couple of bikini-clad young women as they walked past. "They look like fun – I mean, the _beach_ looks like fun."

"Urameshi." Kuwabara said flatly. "You don't stand a chance."

"It doesn't hurt to try." Yusuke shrugged, keeping an eye on the backsides on the retreating girls.

"Urameshi, they're lesbians."

"Nice!" Yusuke exclaimed, breaking into a run to try and catch up with them.

"No!" Kuwabara ran after his best friend and tackled him to the ground. "There are small children present! Don't do anything stupid!"

"You're the one who's stupid!" Yusuke kicked violently as people started to stare. "Get offa me!"

Kurama closed his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he sighed and shook his head. Hiei looked up at him as Kuwabara carried Yusuke back to them.

"Isn't there a river we could go to?" He asked.

"The closet river's like almost four hours away." Kuwabara answered, dropping Yusuke to the ground.

"You know what, Kuwabara?" Yusuke shouted, jabbing his friend's nose with a finger. "I'm getting pretty sick of your shit today!"

"_My_ shit?" Kuwabara shot back. "_My_ shit?! I haven't _done_ anything!"

"Hey!" Kurama clapped his hands twice, catching the attention of his two bickering friends. "Back to the car, we're going to the river."

Kurama turned on his heel and quickly trudged back up the dunes, Hiei following after him trying to catch up; the hot sand not bothering them as much as it had before. Yusuke and Kuwabara blinked, watching after Kurama and Hiei, then glared at each other.

"Hmph!" The two snorted before begrudgingly heading back up to the car.

****

The group hiked through the forest for about twenty minutes; sweat dripped from their bodies. The shade from the trees did nothing to protect or cool them. Kuwabara pushed a branch out of his way as he stepped off the path and onto the rocks. Yusuke and Kurama followed suit, Hiei ducking his head under the branch. The four stood still, taking in the beauty of the serene and peaceful river that just seemed to calling their names.

"It's so beautiful." Kuwabara whispered, his eyes wide as he stared at the water. His body shivered as he imagined the cool water against his skin.

"It's practically deserted," Kurama gawked. "I'm shocked, I thought it would be packed!"

"Ooh, look!" Yusuke pointed out a group of bikini-clad young women lounging in chairs around a fire pit about twenty feet away from them; some of the girls were swimming and splashing each other in the water.

"Sirens!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "Yusuke, stay away! They'll steal your soul!"

It was too late – Yusuke took off towards the group, his eyes singling out one girl in particular. She was tall with long brown hair. With Kurama and Hiei following at a slower pace, Kuwabara ran after his friend just as Yusuke made it to the girls. Kurama's eyes widened as he recognized the tall girl with long brown hair from behind.

"Yusuke, don't!" He called out.

That was also too late – Yusuke curved a hand and pulled it back. He then swung it forward, slapping the girl on the behind hard and making her jump in surprise.

"Hey, hot stuff," He said in her ear. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Yusuke?" The girl said in confusion.

She turned around and Yusuke gasped, backing up quickly. He kept his hands up as if to keep the girl away from him.

"I am so, so sorry, Shizuru!" He exclaimed.

"What're you guys doing here?" She asked Kuwabara as he approached with Kurama and Hiei in tow, sounding irritated as she crossed her arms under her chest. "Are you spying on me?"

"No, sis, I swear. We were just –"

Kuwabara's words were cut short as his older sister knocked him to the ground and began to beat him up. She stood up when she finished, flinging her hair over her shoulders and breathing heavily.

"Shizuru!" A girl appeared at Shizuru's side, putting a protective arm around Shizuru's waist and giving Yusuke a dirty look. "Are these guys bothering you?"

"No, Eri, I know these guys." Shizuru's face turned a pale pink color as she turned her face away from her friend. "The one on the ground is my baby brother."

"Hello, beautiful." Yusuke said, taking Eri's hand and kissing it. "I'm Yusuke Urameshi."

"Yusuke, I don't think she's interested." Kurama said softly as Eri yanked her hand free and slapped Yusuke hard across the face.

Kuwabara bounced up, fully recovered from the beating given from his sibling.

"I thought you were going out of town, sis."

"You don't listen to anything I say, do you?" Shizuru rolled her eyes. "I said I was going to the river for the weekend with a few friends."

"Is this a club?" Yusuke asked cheekily. "Can I join?"

Eri put her hand over Yusuke's face and shoved him hard to the ground as Shizuru turned to Kurama and asked them what they were doing there.

"We were just trying to find a place to go swimming." He flashed her that sweet smile of his. "The pool and beach were all full so the river was our last resort but, obviously, the river is out of the question too."

"What do you mean?" Yusuke and Kuwabara asked.

"There's tons of room here."

"Yeah, it's not like the beach or the pool."

"We're not welcome here," Kurama said politely to his friends. "We don't want to disturb Shizuru and her friends."

"My sister doesn't own the river."

"Leave, Kazuma!" Shizuru shouted. "And what the hell are you doing with Nan-Nan's picnic basket?"

Eri shoved Yusuke back down again, retrieving a laugh from several of the other girls at the camp and Hiei.

"We were gonna go for a picnic, sis. And like I said, _you_ don't own the river!"

Shizuru gave Kuwabara a look which made him yelp and take off running back to the path. Kurama gave Eri a friendly smile.

"It was very nice meeting you," He said to her before turning to Shizuru. "Have fun. Come on, Yusuke."

Yusuke popped back up as Kurama and Hiei started back towards the path. He pointed at Eri, an annoyed look on his face.

"Y'know what? I'm getting' kinda sick of –"

Eri slapped Yusuke and pushed him down once more before Kurama came back and dragged Yusuke back to the path.

When they made it back to the car, Kuwabara attacked Yusuke, knocking him down to the pavement of the parking lot violently.

"You grabbed my sister's butt, you pervert!" He shouted through gritted teeth.

"Get the fuck offa me, Kuwabara!" Yusuke punched at his friend. "You fucking idiot!"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Kurama exclaimed as he and Hiei pulled the two apart. "Knock it off, you two!"

"_He_ started it!" Yusuke pointed accusingly at Kuwabara.

"_You _started it!" Kuwabara shot back, wiping blood from his nose. "You don't go grabbing a guy's sister's ass, Urameshi."

"I've done it a ton of times before! What're you gonna do about it?"

"Urameshi, I know the heat is really getting' to ya , but don't _fucking start shit with me!_"

"What're you gonna do about it, dumbass?" Yusuke repeated, taunting his friend. "Come and get me, pansy!"

"Fuck you, Urameshi! I hope you get heatstroke!"

"I hope you fry up and get the worst sunburn ever, you stupid ginger day-walker!"

"Hey!" Kurama screamed, causing the two to quiet down immediately. "Shut the hell up and get in the car!"

The four got back into the car and Kurama drove off. Yusuke and Kuwabara, their fight suddenly forgotten, leaned against each other and started to fall asleep.

"Kurama?" Kuwabara said drowsily. "Where're we going?"

"We're going swimming, Kuwabara." Kurama replied, sounding like his cheerful self again.

"Oh," Yusuke yawned. "Where?"

****

The four sat in the big blue inflatable pool, relaxing with their arms draped over the sides. Yusuke splashed at Kurama.

"Good idea, Kurama." He chuckled.

"Thanks, Yusuke."

"Why didn't we think of this earlier?" Kuwabara asked, taking out the fruit tray from the picnic basket and opening it. "It seems like the most obvious idea."

"Don't spill any of that fruit in my pool." Genkai grumbled from her seat on the pink and white fold-up beach chair. "I'll kick your ass."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Nice picnic basket, by the way."

"Thanks!" Kuwabara grinned, passing the fruit tray to Yusuke.

"Ooh, blueberries!"

Yusuke grabbed a handful of blueberries and popped them into his mouth before passing the tray to Hiei, who took a large slice of watermelon and shoved it into his mouth.

"This is some good ass watermelon." Hiei said, his words muffled.

Kurama gasped, suddenly remembering something.

"Oh, no!"

"What?" The rest said together.

"I forgot the blueberry sunblock!"


	9. Imitation

Okay, so this is long overdue. :P I started writing this back in either late July or early August, I don't really remember. I kinda lost inspiration for it for a while and didn't know where it was gonna go. I just finished it like three minutes ago. Seriously, there's a lot of cussing and out-of-characterness in this one, like _a lot_ a lot - you have been warned! So with that being said - and like always - Enjoy! ;P

* * *

The four young women laughed as they ascended the stairs and approached the door. Shizuru rummaged around in her bag for a good two minutes until she found her key. She reached out to unlock the front door when it flew open and Yusuke stomped out, looking furious.

"If that's the way you feel then _fine_!" Yusuke shouted over his shoulder into the apartment building. "I won't hang around you guys anymore!"

"Yusuke?" Keiko asked, utterly confused as Yusuke shoved past the group of girls. "What's wrong?"

"That just fine with me!" Kurama shouted, appearing in the doorway, also looking furious. "I don't want to hang around with an oily-haired 1950's Greaser James Dean wannabe!"

"Oh, fuck off, Fox boy!" Yusuke retorted, flashing Kurama the finger. "I wish you and your bi-polar midget boyfriend would just come out already!"

Kurama gasped, his eyes widening then narrowing in angry little slits. He opened his mouth to say something back when Hiei rushed in front of him.

"Who the hell are you calling a gay midget, Detective?" Hiei barked. "Even if I was homosexual, there are plenty of more attractive demons than Kurama!"

"If that's so true then why don't you go follow _them_ around instead of chasing after me like a toy poodle?" Kurama shot back viciously without hesitation.

"I'm giving the three of you assholes to the count of ten!" Kuwabara screamed, kicking Kurama and Hiei out of the apartment doorway. "If you ain't gone by then I'm callin' the cops!"

He waved the cordless phone in the air threateningly.

"Like you really have the balls to do that, you stupid ginger!" Yusuke sneered snottily. "You can't even go to the bathroom by yourself! You can't do anything by yourself! You should be wearing a helmet!"

"Seriously, Kuwabara, you talk more garbage than Hiei does!" Kurama crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Kuwabara.

"Oh, you stupid little –" Hiei started, turning to Kurama.

"I already dial the nine, don't make me dial the ones!" Kuwabara threatened.

"Ooh, look! Lennie can count!" Kurama sneered.

"My name is Kazuma Kuwabara, you rejected Sailor Scout!" Kuwabara shouted, pointing at Kurama with the phone.

"It was a "Of Mice and Men" joke!" Kurama screeched. "Am I the only one of this motley crew that reads?"

"You only read because you have no social life or friends!" Hiei shot.

"I dialed the one!"

"Do it!" Yusuke urged, standing on his toes and slapping his chest with his hands like he was trying to start a fight. "Do it! Call the cops! I'd just _love_ to see you try!"

"Don't fuck around with me, Urameshi, I'll do it!"

"You little troll!" Kurama screamed, throwing a sucker punch at Hiei's face and knocking the shorter demon to the floor.

"Oh, it's on!" Kuwabara threw the phone behind him and lunged at Yusuke. "Bring it!"

"I'll rock you like a Hurricane!" Yusuke shrieked, jumping at Kuwabara with a fist, ready to punch him.

"Hey!"

Shizuru took a whistle out of he purse and blew it when she was ignored. She blew the whistle twice; two short little shrills that stopped the fight between the four young men before it got out of control. The four stopped and blinked, seeing the girls for the first time.

"What's going on here?" Shizuru asked, her hands on her hips.

"He started it!" The four shouted simultaneously, pointing at each other.

"Okay," Shizuru lifted her hands up in a defeated gesture. "I don't care. Everybody, inside and we'll get this all figured out."

"No!" Yusuke exclaimed, breaking free from the group and giving the three a dirty glare as he grabbed Keiko's hand. "I don't want to be anywhere around people who think I'm a uneducated future alcoholic druggie punk poser. C'mon, Keiko, let's go."

"But, Yusuke –" Keiko started.

"Let's go!" Yusuke snapped, yanking on Keiko's hand and pulling her down the stairs behind him.

"Future wife beater!" Kuwabara spat at Yusuke, leaning over the railing as the couple below quickly walked away from the apartment complex.

"Future schizophrenic cat-man!" Yusuke shot back, giving Kuwabara the finger.

"Your mom's a whore!" Kuwabara yelled.

"At least I have a mom!" Yusuke retorted venomously.

Kuwabara gasped, trembled, growled then stomped back into the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

"I also don't want to be surrounded by people who think I'm pretentious anorexic mama's boy." Kurama hmphed, turning his nose up at Hiei.

"Hn." Hiei growled, making a move for the staircase at the same time Kurama did.

"Stop following me!" Kurama whined, pushing Hiei down the flight of stairs. "Get off my ass and leave me alone!"

The group at the top of the stairs watched as Kurama ran down and jogged away in the opposite direction Yusuke and Keiko went. After a few minutes, Hiei popped up from his spot in a shrub, looked around, 'Hn'-ed then flitted off.

Botan and Shizuru exchanged looks. Shizuru rolled her eyes and shrugged. Botan put a hand on Yukina's shoulder.

"Hey, Yukina, it's getting late. Let's get you home."

"Okay," Yukina looked to Shizuru. "I had fun today."

"Yeah, me too, kid." Shizuru smiled at the short aqua-haired girl. "We'll have to take you to the mall more often."

The older Kuwabara sibling waved to Botan and Yukina as they left. She sighed then opened the door and walked in as she took a cigarette from the pack she kept in her coat pocket and lit it. She took a long drag then exhaled through her nose.

Hearing someone rummaging around angrily in the kitchen, she entered to see Kuwabara taking an armful of food out of the refrigerator.

"So, what happened?" She asked casually.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Kuwabara grumbled, kicking the fridge door closed.

Shizuru noticed the remnants of a cereal box on the floor, little cereal marshmallows dotting the kitchen linoleum, the squashed oranges slid down the walls to land in a liquid mess on the floor, pink yogurt splattered like an abstract painting all over cabinets, the counter and the walls.

"Kazuma, what the hell happened in my kitchen?" She asked, more curious than upset.

"I said I don't wanna talk about it!" Kuwabara snapped, sulking to his room.

Shizuru watched her brother as he went to his room, slamming the door louder than necessary and making her flinch slightly. She sighed and rolled her eyes again then carefully, stepping over the mess, made her way to the phone and dialed a familiar number. It rang several times before finally being answered.

"Hello?" Keiko answered softly, almost cautiously.

"Hey, it's Shizuru."

"Oh, hey!" The younger girl said cheerfully before whispering to someone. "It's just Shizuru."

"Am I interrupting something?" Shizuru cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, no. Yusuke just wanted to know who it was." Shizuru heard Yusuke mutter something and Keiko gasp. "Yusuke, I'm not going to repeat that! That's awful!"

"So did he tell you what happened yet?"

"No, he just told that me that he didn't want to talk about it. Anything from your brother?" Yusuke muttered something else and Shizuru could hear the loud smack of a hand against skin. "Yusuke Urameshi, that's horrible!"

"I don't want to know what he just said, I don't want to be pulled into this." She took a drag then tapped the ash off in an empty cup on the kitchen counter. "Kazuma said the same thing, he doesn't want to talk about it."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll figure it out sooner or later." Shizuru heard Yusuke say something then Keiko sighed, sounding obviously annoyed. "I'll call you back later."

Without waiting for Shizuru to say good-bye, Keiko hung up. Shizuru put the phone back into the cradle then picked up Eikichi, who had just sauntered into the kitchen.

"Hey, kitty-kitty." She cooed, petting the cat lovingly. "Your daddy had a bad day, let's go cheer him up."

She raised a fist to knock on her brother's bedroom door when she heard things crashing and slamming into walls inside the room. Not waiting for an invitation to enter, Shizuru gripped the doorknob in her free hand and forced the door open; she would not deal with her apartment being destroyed.

She stopped where she was, seeing Kuwabara throwing anything and everything that was related to and had been involved with Yusuke, Kurama or Hiei at the left wall. Whatever he threw hit the wall then fell into a large brown box like a basketball going through a hoop.

"Moving?" Shizuru joked dryly.

"No." Kuwabara growled. "I'm getting rid of everything that belongs to or was given to me from Urameshi, Kurama and Hiei."

"Oh, darn." Shizuru sat on the edge of her brother's bed. "I was hoping to turn your room in an art studio or a tanning room."

"Can I help you?" Kuwabara balled his hands into fists and place them firmly on his hips. "As you can see, I'm a little busy right now."

"Just thought that you could use a little cheering up." Shizuru lifted Eikichi up, covering her face with the cat. "There's a certain little kitty that hates to see little Kazu upset."

"Kitty!" Kuwabara squealed happily, scooping Eikichi into his arms. He mumbled sweetly to the cat before turning back to his sister, his expression hard once more. "Okay, so you brought my cat, go away."

"Now, hold on, baby brother." Shizuru crossed her legs, reclining back and propping herself up with her elbows. "What happened when I was out?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. Now, can you _please_ leave?"

"Are you just going to pretend that that shouting match and that brawl in front of the door didn't happen?"

"What shouting match?" Kuwabara asked sarcastically. "What brawl in front of the door?"

"Oh, fine!" Shizuru threw her arms up in the air in an exasperated manner and got up. "If you're just gonna sulk and pout then stay holed up in your room."

"If either of those _things_ call, which I hope they _won't_, tell them they can pick up their junk at the dump!"

Shizuru ignored her brother and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"This'll all pass in a week. They can't stay mad at each other for very long." She said to herself. "How long can they go without talking to each other?"

****

Keiko put her phone back into it's pink cradle on her desk. She turned and scowled at her boyfriend.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked. "Shizuru didn't do anything to you, why would you say that stuff?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Yusuke grumbled, flopping down onto Keiko's bed and holding a pillow to his chest.

"Oh, Yu-Chan!" Keiko cooed, poking at Yusuke's face. "Don't pout now!"

"I'm not pouting!" Yusuke snapped, slapping at Keiko's finger. "Get outta my face, Keiko."

"Why can't you just tell me what happened?"

"Because I said I didn't wanna talk about it!" Yusuke growled, rolling onto his back and throwing one of Keiko's pink decorative pillows into the air and catching it.

He let the pillow drop the floor, not bothering to catch it, and sat up.

"I need a cigarette." He mumbled, getting up.

"But you've almost smoked that whole pack and you just bought it!"

"Are you saying I'm a chain smoker?" Yusuke barked, giving Keiko a death glare. "Are you saying I'm just like my mom? You think I'm trashy?"

"Whoa, Yusuke! I never said that!"

"Is that what everybody thinks about me?"

Yusuke angrily took the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and put one to his lips, opening Keiko's bedroom window with his other hand. He sat on the window's ledge, fiddling with his lighter.

"Nobody thinks that about you, Yusuke." Keiko said softly, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her head on his shoulder.

Yusuke muttered something Keiko didn't understand, but she didn't want to bother him by asking him to repeat what he said so she left it alone. She kissed the back of his neck as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

"_This whole thing will blow over in a week,_" Keiko thought. "_How long can these guys stay mad at each other?_"

****

Shizuru and Keiko had been wrong; the silent treatment between the four friends lasted almost a month. Finally, the two couldn't take it anymore so, with the help of Botan and Yukina, they somehow managed to get all four boys into the same room.

Yusuke glared at Kuwabara, curling his lip up in a snarl as he entered the apartment.

"Fucking Sid Vicious wannabe." Kuwabara muttered, going into the kitchen.

"What're we doing here?" Hiei asked.

"Why are you asking me? I don't know!" Kurama shot back angrily.

"I wasn't asking _you_!" Hiei snapped.

"Hey, knock it off!" Shizuru shouted, silencing the two. She pointed to the couch. "Sit! All four of you."

"We have to sit next to each other?" Yusuke asked, giving Kurama and Hiei a dirty look as they sat down at different ends of the couch. "I'll think I'll stand, thanks."

Keiko grabbed a hold of Yusuke's ear and twisted it, making her boyfriend lurch forward in pain.

"Sit down, Yusuke!"

"All right!" Yusuke whimpered, sitting down next to Kurama, who was giving him a look.

"I don't want to be next to you as much as you don't want to be next to me."

"Kazuma, get in here."

"No thanks, I think I'll stay in the kitchen 'til they leave."

"Fucking fat ass is stuffin' his face with comfort food!" Yusuke shouted towards the kitchen. "He must have an eating disorder like Kurama!"

"I'm naturally skinny, you crack baby." Kurama hissed.

Yusuke threw a punch right at Kurama's face, tackling him.

"Wanna say that again, you Oedipal fruit loop?" Yusuke asked, swinging blindly as Kurama kicked at him.

"Yusuke, get off of him!" the girls screamed, trying to pull Yusuke off of Kurama.

Keiko yanked Yusuke off of Kurama and pulled him off of the couch. She pointed a finger at his face, looking quite upset with him.

"Behave! Stop fighting and behave for just a few minutes so we can get to the bottom of this."

"Yeah, listen to your woman." Hiei muttered.

"All of you!" Keiko shouted, looking at Kurama and Hiei. She turned to the kitchen. "Kazuma Kuwabara, get out here right now!"

Muttering a few choice words under his breath, Kuwabara sulked out of the kitchen, a bag of goldfish in his hands. He sat down reluctantly next to Hiei. Keiko shoved Yusuke towards the couch, silently ordering him to sit back down which he obeyed.

"You're not leaving this room or this apartment until we've gotten to the bottom of this." Shizuru said, lighting up a cigarette.

"Make me." Hiei mumbled.

Shizuru looked to Botan, who locked the deadbolt at the front door, then to Yukina who locked all the windows then took Hiei's katana away from him.

"Sorry, Hiei." She said softly, an apologetic smile on her face.

Hiei scrunched his face up, obviously beaten by his sister, and turned away.

"Hn."

"Okay, so what happened?" Botan asked. "Why aren't you guys talking to each other?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." The four mumbled simultaneously, trying to avoid looking at each other.

"Well, one of you is gonna have to start talking or we'll be here all night." Shizuru said flatly. "I have work in the morning."

"Yusuke, you start." Botan pointed at Yusuke.

"Me? Why me?" Yusuke snarled.

"Because I said so."

Yusuke sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so it happened like this," He started. "The four of us were just chillin' in Kuwabara's room, right? Just sittin' there, bored off our asses, trying to think of something to do when Kuwabara comes up with this idea –"

"A bad one at that," Hiei muttered, arms crossed over his chest. "Like always."

"Hey, shuddup, fucker!" Kuwabara snapped.

"Like I was sayin'," Yusuke continued, giving Kuwabara then Hiei a look to keep them from further interruptions. "Kuwabara came up with this idea to play this game . . ."

_The four sat in Kuwabara's room; Kuwabara laying on his bed, throwing a basketball up in the air, Kurama sitting on the black swivel desk chair, Hiei leaned against the door by Kurama, Yusuke sitting cross-legged on the floor, flipping through some magazine of Shizuru's he had swiped off the coffee table when he had entered the apartment earlier that day._

"_This is hella boring," Yusuke muttered, closing the magazine and tossing it halfheartedly on the floor. "Who cares about Jon and Kate plus Eight or the Octo-mom? Can't these magazine creeps find somethin' else to terrorize for a while?"_

"_I gotta idea!" Kuwabara cried, catching the ball in his hands and sitting up. "You guys wanna play a game?"_

"_Anything but Monopoly," Yusuke chuckled, shaking his head. "Hiei and Monopoly don't mix."_

"_No board games, they all infuriate me." Hiei shot._

"_Kuwabara only has old crappy games anyway." Yusuke shrugged._

"_He has Pictionary!" Kurama defended._

"_Like I said – old and crappy."_

"_Guys!" Kuwabara grumbled, standing up. "You wanna play Imitation?"_

"_What's that?"_

"_It sounds like you just made it up, Kuwabara."_

_Kuwabara reached out and slapped Yusuke on the back of his head._

"_Shuddup, Urameshi. Okay, we basically take off our clothes –"_

"_What!"_

"_Whoa, what the hell, Kuwabara?"_

"_You didn't let me finish!" Kuwabara stammered, his face turning red in embarrassment at his poor choice of words. "Okay, so we basically switch clothes with someone and imitate them."_

"_Dress up?" Hiei sneered, rolling his eyes. "I didn't know you were a five year old girl, Kuwabara."_

"_Hey, shuddup shorty!"_

"_Haha, that sounds great!" Yusuke slapped his knees then bounced up, reaching for Kurama. "Let's do it! Kurama, gimme your clothes!"_

"_Oh, goodness! Yusuke, get off of me!" Kurama pleaded, slapping at Yusuke as he tugged at his friend's clothes._

_The two switched clothes; Yusuke's clothes were extremely baggy on Kurama's skinny frame, Kurama's clothes fitting almost perfectly for Yusuke._

_Hiei and Kuwabara looked at each other and shook their heads._

"_Nope! Do over!" Kuwabara barked. "I don't wanna be Hiei!"_

"_I don't want to be Kuwabara, either!"_

"_No way!" Yusuke laughed, checking himself out in Kurama's clothes in the mirror. "Ya gotta be faster than that."_

"_His clothes won't fit me!" The two shouted, pointing at each other._

"_Tough squash," Kurama said. "Switch."_

_Grumbling, Kuwabara and Hiei switched clothes; Hiei drowning in Kuwabara's XXL outfit, Kuwabara was afraid that Hiei's small clothes would cut off his circulation._

"_Now, what do we do?" Yusuke asked, fiddling with the collar of the pink shirt he was wearing._

"_We imitate each other!" Kuwabara exclaimed, trying to keep the cloak from strangling him. Then in a voice that almost resembled Hiei's, he added. "This thing is such a hassle. That's why I always rip it off before a fight."_

_Yusuke held his sides as he laughed at Kuwabara's impression, leaning onto Kurama._

"_I don't sound like that!" Hiei huffed, glaring at Kuwabara._

"_No, Kuwabara, _you_ don't but _Hiei_ does!" Kurama said in a loud voice. "Don't ya, Hiei?"_

"_Hn." Kuwabara answered._

"_Was that supposed to be me?" Yusuke raised an eyebrow at Kurama, picking up his pack of cigarettes he left on the floor._

"_Kurama, when did you start smoking?" Kurama asked Yusuke, grabbing the cigarettes. "Those are mine, y'know! This shit's expensive!"_

"_Oh, sorry, Yusuke." Yusuke smirked, talking in a soft, almost lispy, voice. "You know cigarettes can kill you, Yusuke."_

"_Eh, I've been hit by a car." Kurama shrugged, putting a cigarette to his lips. "I ain't afraid of nothin'."_

"_That's a double negative, Yusuke! That means you are afraid of something!"_

"_You only jumped in front of the car 'cause you were afraid I'd finally beat yer ass!" Hiei barked in a deep, boisterous voice (which, surprisingly, sounded exactly like Kuwabara)._

_Kuwabara made a face as Yusuke and Kurama laughed at Hiei. Kuwabara crossed his arms over his chest, scowling._

"_Hn." He grumbled._

_Eikichi padded into the room, pausing for a moment when she noticed everyone._

"_Mrew?"_

"_Kitty!" Hiei squealed in his Kuwabara voice, jumping at the cat._

_Eikichi jumped and ran out of the room, Hiei chasing after her with his arms outstretched and chanting "Kitty, kitty, kitty!"_

_Yusuke started to laugh out loud but remember he was imitating Kurama and covered his smile with a hand as Kurama tossed his head back and laughed loudly. Kuwabara's eye twitched and his scowl deepened._

"_Hn." He growled._

_Kurama put a cigarette to his lips and lit it, causing Yusuke to gasp mockingly._

"_Yusuke, you're not really going to smoke in here, are you?"_

"_I don't care, I'm a rebel." Kurama shrugged, taking a drag then making a disgusted face._

_Hiei pranced back in, Eikichi in his arms and scratches on his face. The cat squirmed, trying to get away from Hiei as he nuzzled her._

"_Kitty, kitty, kitty!" He squealed again._

"_Doesn't look like your cat likes you very much, idiot." Kuwabara said snidely._

"_Shuddup, shrimp!" Hiei barked, sticking his tongue out at Kuwabara._

"_You're not worth my time," Kuwabara smirked, turning his nose up at Hiei. He turned to Yusuke. "Kurama, let's go. Why do we surround ourselves with these humans?"_

"_Oh, my love. You're getting grouchy!" Yusuke put an arm around Kuwabara's shoulders, resting his head against Kuwabara's. "Have you had your afternoon nap today?"_

_The two laughed loudly as Kurama and Hiei gave them some very dirty looks. Kurama turned to Hiei._

"_So, Kuwabara, how are things with you and Yukina?"_

_The question abruptly silenced Kuwabara's laughter while Yusuke's slowly died down to quiet giggling. Hiei's eye twitched at what Kurama said._

"_What about her, Urameshi?"_

"_I'm just askin'." Kurama shrugged. "Have you tapped that yet?"_

_Yusuke snorted at the face Hiei was making. Kuwabara pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowing angrily._

"_No, Urameshi, she's not as easy as Keiko!" Hiei retorted._

"_Oh, snap!" Kuwabara exclaimed, breaking character._

"_Not funny." Yusuke stated, also breaking character. "Not cool."_

"_Oh, come off it, Yusuke." Kurama rolled his eyes, breaking character as well. "We're just having fun."_

"_Oh, I'll show you fun." Yusuke muttered before throwing his arms around Kuwabara's neck and talking in a flamboyantly lispy voice. "Oh, Hiei, snookums, let's leave and find a tree or a bush or something and make little half fox half fire demon babies!"_

_The two laughed as Kurama and Hiei's faces turned red in anger._

"_It's about time I leave anyway," Kurama said in his Yusuke voice as he stood up, looking at his watch. "I gotta go bone my girlfriend twenty more times 'cause that's all we do. First, I gotta stop by my fucked up house and steal some money and alcohol from my mom."_

"_At least you have a mom," Hiei barked in his Kuwabara voice. "I'm being raised by a chain-smoking lesbian."_

"_My mom is my best friend!" Yusuke lisped, giving Kurama a death glare. "I'm so proud to say I'm a mama's boy!"_

"_I don't have parents," Kuwabara grumbled, lip curling up at Hiei. "I was hatched from a demonic egg and raised by criminals!"_

"_Well, at least you aren't an ugly incompetent feline obsessed idiot!"_

"_No, I'm just bi-polar, anti-social emo kid!" Kuwabara stood, breaking character entirely. "You're so lucky we're stuck in this room, Hiei. I would kick your ass so bad!"_

"_I would like to see you try!" Hiei struggled to take the clothes he was wearing off. "Give me back my clothes!"_

"_I'd much rather be a mama's boy than a low class ignorant uneducated druggie!" Kurama spat at Yusuke, jerking the shirt off and throwing it back at Yusuke._

"_You anorexic furry!" Yusuke shouted._

"So, after that, we all switched back to our own clothes and then more pretty mean words were said," Yusuke said, gesturing with his hand.

"Yeah, _real_ mean." Kuwabara mumbled, nodding along with Kurama and Hiei in agreement. "More comments about girlfriends were said."

"_You pussy whipped stoner!" Kurama shouted at Yusuke, yanking open the bedroom door and leaving the room. "It's pretty obvious who wears the pants in your relationship!"_

"_At least I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't happen to be my mom or a fucked up weird ass demon house plant!" Yusuke shot back, following after Kurama into the living room._

"_You're a rude, selfish, impudent midget Vegeta!" Kuwabara growled at Hiei as he walked out of his bedroom backwards, keeping an eye on the shorter man._

"_I should have slit your throat when I first met you!" Hiei spat._

"_Where you goin', Kurama?" Yusuke asked tauntingly as he followed the redhead into the kitchen. "You gonna eat all Kuwabara's food then throw it up?"_

_Kurama grabbed a box of cereal from the counter and spun around, tossing the marshmallow cereal pieces at Yusuke. Getting a face full of cereal, Yusuke stepped back. He grabbed the nearest thing closet to him, which happened to be an orange from a bowl on the kitchen table. He wound up, looking like a professional baseball player and threw the orange with all his might at Kurama, who dodged it. Yusuke picked up more oranges and violently threw them at his used-to-be-friend._

"_Fucking fruit!" Yusuke screamed._

"_Homophobic manwhore!" Kurama retorted back, yanking open the refrigerator and grabbing one of Shizuru's low-fat strawberry yogurts. He ripped the aluminum tab off and aimed it at Yusuke, who ducked. The yogurt splattered against the wall as if Kurama were painting with it._

_Kuwabara stumbled in, Hiei latched onto his back with his arms tightly around Kuwabara's thick neck in a chokehold. Kuwabara rammed into a wall backwards in an attempt to force Hiei off of him. When Hiei finally was detached from the bigger man's back, Kuwabara kicked him._

"_Yukina doesn't love you!" Hiei shouted, causing Kuwabara to pause in mid-kick and Yusuke and Kurama to stop in the middle of their food fight to watch Kuwabara's reaction._

"_How fucking dare you?!" Kuwabara seethed, balling his hands into fists._

"_I wonder what Kuwabara would do if he found out who Yukina's brother actually was." Yusuke thought out loud, smirking evilly._

_Kuwabara's head swiveled towards Yusuke and Kurama. Hiei glared at Yusuke from his spot on the ground._

"_You know?" Kuwabara asked._

"_Actually, we all know." Kurama nodded. "And it's someone in this room right now."_

"_You're fucking lying!" Kuwabara screamed. "You guys wouldn't keep something hidden like that from me!"_

"_Or would we?" Yusuke looked at Hiei, who had finally stood up._

"_Shut your mouth, Detective!" Hiei lunged at Yusuke, knocking him to the ground._

"_The truth is finally comin' out, Hiei!" Yusuke shouted as the two wrestled on the floor. "It must suck to have a half-retarded brother-in-law!"_

"_Get the fuck out of my house!" Kuwabara screamed, running from the kitchen to grab the cordless phone in the living room. "If you guys don't leave this instant, I'm calling the cops!"_

"_I'll kill you!" Hiei screamed at Yusuke, his hands at his neck. "I'll kill you!"_

_Yusuke kicked Hiei off of him, sending the shorter man flying into Kurama, who slammed back into the stove. Kurama shoved Hiei to the floor._

"_Get the hell off of me!"_

"_Out!" Kuwabara bellowed, returning to the kitchen. "Get the fuck out right now!"_

"_Fine!" Kurama scowled at Kuwabara before turning to Yusuke. "Also, Yusuke, next time someone's parents are out of town and they throw a party, that's not an invitation to get totally blitzed and fornicate with your constantly PMSing bitch of girlfriend in the party-thrower's parents' room!"_

"_That was one time!" Yusuke stood._

"_You mean several times in one night! Do you know how pissed off I was when I had to clean up my house the next day and found seven condom wrappers in my mother's room? You disrespectful little –"_

"_My life would have been so much better if I hadn't met you three!" Kuwabara interrupted, making all three look at him. His hands shook at his sides. "At least before you guys, I had real friends that didn't keep shit from me and didn't treat me like shit! I want you all out of my life!"_

_The room was silent. Yusuke's eyes narrowed as he advanced towards Kuwabara._

"_Fine!" Yusuke spat in Kuwabara's face. "Kazuma Kuwabara, consider your friendship with me terminated!"_

"_Ooh, such a big word." Kurama rolled his eyes._

_Yusuke spun to face Kurama._

"_You too!" He looked at Hiei. "And you too! I'm done with you guys!"_

"_The feeling is extremely mutual." Kurama shot back nastily as Yusuke exited the kitchen, stomping to the front door and flinging it open._

"_If that's the way you feel then _fine_!"_

****

Yusuke let out a long audible sigh, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"And that's what happened."

"I can't believe you four," Botan shook her head, clicking her tongue in disappointment. "Ending your friendship over a stupid game."

"I guess it's my fault," Kuwabara shrugged. "It was a bad idea."

"Yeah," Yusuke nodded before a small smirk slowly appeared at his lips. "You did do a great job imitating Hiei's voice, though."

"Yes, it was spot on." Kurama agreed.

"Hell, so was Hiei's impression of me." Kuwabara said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Especially when Eikichi came into the room."

"That cat tried to rip my face off." Hiei piped up, trying to hide his signature smirk.

The four on the couch laughed. Yusuke wiped a tear from his eyes as the laughter died down and he turned to Kurama.

"I'm sorry I called you Oedipal and anorexic, man. And I'm sorry for the shit I said about you and Hiei."

"I said some horrible things about you too, Yusuke." Kurama shook his head. "I should be apologizing to you."

"I think we all owe each other apologies." Kuwabara mumbled.

The three nodded in agreement then proceded to apologize to each other for the nasty things they had all said.

"Gentlemen," Yusuke smirked playfully as he stood and held his arms out to his three friends. "Group hug?"

"Hells yeah!" Kuwabara laughed in agreement as he and Kurama stood.

Kurama yanked Hiei up by the collar of his cloak and forced him into the group hug. The hug lasted about a minute before Yusuke pulled away in mock disgust.

"Phew, Kuwabara, did you put deodorant on this morning?"

"I was wondering what that strange smell was."

"Hey, shuddup, shrimp."

"I certainly missed hearing _that_." Kurama joked.

"So, what now?" Kuwabara asked Yusuke.

"I dunno," He shrugged. "Guys wanna go see a movie?"

"Ooh, there's this new foreign film playing at the theater down the street!" Kurama pointed out.

"Oh, c'mon, Kurama, nobody wants to see another foreign film." Yusuke shook his head. "Let's see that new zombie movie that just came out."

"But there's that new animated movie that came out today, I really wanted to see it." Kuwabara pouted.

"The one with the blue cartoon cat?" Yusuke asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Kuwabara nodded.

"We're not seeing that." Yusuke, Hiei and Kurama said in unison.

"Well, whatever, let's just walk to the closet theater and see what's playing." Yusuke shrugged, grabbing his jacket from the couch.

"I'm still leaning towards that cat movie." Kuwabara said as the four went to the door.

"I will leave if I have to sit through an hour and a half of a ridiculous brightly colored children's film." Hiei piped up.

The four laughed as they left the apartment, slamming the door behind them. The four women still in the apartment could heard the four outside joking around and laughing like what had happened a month ago had never happened.

Shizuru put a fresh cigarette to her lips and shook her head.

"Imitation," She muttered. "My brother has some crazy stupid ideas sometimes."

"I don't know, it sounds kinda interesting." Botan shrugged. "I kinda wanna play now."

"Me, too!" Yukina agreed energetically.

"I'm not going to lie, but I wanna play to."

The three looked at Shizuru, who took a long drag of cigarette before exhaling through her nose.

"Fine, let me finish this cigarette and I'll imitate Botan."


End file.
